Ok, alright. The title of the post might be a bit misleading. I am a firm believer that anything you do takes a certain amount of trying. Real work, I call it. But I’ve been thinking about success a lot lately…about what it is that makes people successful and what makes them unsuccessful. What I’m discovering is, it’s not about succeeding without really trying…it’s about figuring out the right stuff to try. So here are a few things that I’ve been learning about how to succeed. It’s stuff I’m trying, and it seems to be working for me.

Never, ever, ever take things personally. I’m lousy at this…truly lousy. I think the reason I’m not great at it is because I find it to be a bit of a contradiction. This is my business. I’ve invested a great deal into it, emotionally, physically, and financially. It is intensely personal.

The ironic thing is, it’s that very emotional attachment that can get you into trouble. If a crisis hits, then it’s far too easy to let emotions take over. Suddenly you are in a reactive state, and all proactive reasoning goes out the door.

My brilliant business partner and I had a discussion about this the other day. She is one of the calmest people I know when it comes to dealing with a crisis. I asked her how she does it. She said “It’s easy. You need to become aware of the fact that your first instinct is to have an emotional reaction. Then you need to let it go.”

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Of course there’s going to be an emotional reaction to the adversity. That’s just human nature. It can’t be avoided. But take a moment to acknowledge that reaction. Then, take a deep breath, and let that emotion go. Push it aside. What lies beneath is sound judgement, reasoning, and, remarkably, the solution.

Being an entrepreneur is just about the most personal thing you can do. But it’s that very thing that can mean the difference between a good decision and a bad one. Cooler heads prevail, always.

Try to stop taking everything so personally. You’ll soon see that success is just one calm reaction away.

Lift people up. Business, to some people, is first and foremost about making gobs of money. I’ve always considered that business is about people first. The most successful businesses are the ones where people are put at the top of the heap. The way I see it, if I have happy staff, they will do good work, and then I will have happy clients. And if I have happy clients, I will have gobs of money. Kinda makes sense, eh?

It’s not hard to have happy people. Of course you have to pay them appropriately and on time, but there’s so much more to it than that. You need to lift them up. Genuinely. Effortlessly.

Lifting someone up is not about putting them on a pedestal, telling them how great they are all the time. For many people, that just makes them uncomfortable. Lifting someone up is about really listening to what people are saying. It’s about helping them find their passion. It’s about understanding what they may need from you in order to help them meet their goals. And then, it’s about genuinely, gently, placing them up so the world can see the amazing things they can do.

Try lifting people up on a daily basis. Listen, help, and give. It will come back to you tenfold.

Allow yourself to be lifted too. Often as entrepreneurs, we spend a lot of time focusing on other people. We’re so busy with our heads down, pushing forward, dealing with everything we need to do in a given day, week, and year, that we forget sometimes that other people are watching us.

This morning I received a couple of really nice messages from a friend. The words he said resonated so much with me, and were so kind and sincere, that it actually made me a bit emotional. I took myself completely by surprise at my reaction, but I was overwhelmed with the sudden realization that someone could see me this way – and that my friend probably wasn’t alone in his observation.

I am terrible at taking compliments (almost as lousy as I am at not taking things personally). But I am learning that as I’m spending all of this time putting it out there; whether it’s in the work I’m doing for my clients, through my blog, or in my online and offline relationships with people, that somehow, even in my own small way, I’m making an impact. I may not be changing the world with everything I do, but I know that all of the work that I’m doing right now, all of the sacrifices that I’m making and that my husband is making and that my family is making are worth it. Because as much as I’m lifting others, I’m being lifted too.

Try allowing yourself to be lifted up. And be grateful for the people in your life that are there to lift you. I know I am.

So what are you going to try next on the road to success?

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I’ve been observing lately what it is that makes someone successful. Success for many people means money, and sure, that’s part of it (who doesn’t love money?). I mean truly successful – fulfilled in work and life, unbelievably productive, surrounded by amazing people and love and positive things, and yes – financial stability.

I look around me and it’s pretty easy to spot the people who are truly successful. You can look around you and do the same. I can also see some that are faltering. Look around – yep…there. And over there.

This post is not intended to “call people out” or be self-righteous in any sense. I’ve been trying to determine for myself how to gauge success in my own work. What I’m sharing here are some thoughts that I’m using to guide that.

I want you to look at the lists below, and put yourself into them. Go down each list, and put a little mental asterisk beside each thing you are doing on a day-to-day basis. It’s the day-to-day basis that’s critical here. Because what I’ve learned is, as much as it’s important to think long-term and big picture, it’s the actions you take every single day that will move you closer to your goals.

Real Work

• Building relationships
• Planning. Creating. Delivering. (These three go together. Always.)
• Delegating
• Building Trust
• Maintaining Trust
• Thinking about what’s possible.
• Negotiating contracts

Not Real Work

• Spending more time getting others real work than getting yourself real work. (i.e. being too helpful).
• Going to every social or networking event in town or all over the country just because everyone else is.
• Talking incessantly about the tools.
• Talking about how busy you are.
• Doing “busy” work just so you can be busy.
• Thinking about what’s NOT possible.

How does your list balance out? Remember, think in the context of the activities you are doing every day. Do they constitute “Real Work”, or “Not Real Work”? If your balance is more in the ‘Not’ category, then I suspect you may be wondering why you are not getting any closer to those goals you set back in January.

Now, you might be thinking…sure this is fine and well in YOUR industry, Suze. This makes sense because you are an entrepreneur, a media producer, whatever. This is what YOU need to do to gauge YOUR productivity, YOUR success.

Try something. Pretend for a minute that you are want to be the most successful Bartender, professional hockey player, or  cab driver ever. Go down the list, as one of those people, and put it in context of what that person is doing on a daily basis. If that list was unbalanced, with most of the stuff in the “Not Real Work” category, how successful do you think they would be?

It’s not about how full your to-do list is. It’s not about the superstars you hang around with. It’s not about the tools. It’s not about the tools. It’s not about the tools. It’s not about being busy for the sake of “busy-ness”. It’s not about the reasons you can’t do it.

What’s holding you back from real success?

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I have to admit, I like Donald Trump. Sure, he’s arrogant. But his understanding of business and how to make money is phenomenal. He’s truly one of the best.

Here’s the thing; the secret to Trump’s millions is not some magic secret that the rest of us aren’t privy to. He thinks like a rich person. It’s that simple. Thinking like a rich person isn’t really that difficult. Here’s how I see it:

See Opportunity in Everything
The Donald was just on CNN talking about the financial crisis that is occurring around the world right now. Larry King asked for Trump’s advice to the “average American family” in weathering the storm. Without pausing, Trump said “Now is the absolute BEST time to buy a house.” Now, this may seem counterintuitive, in a country that is reposessing more houses than it is selling. But, he is absolutely right. As Trump says, the banks now own all of these houses they don’t want. Now is the time, if you have the means, to get a REALLY good deal on a house. The banks want to offload these places to people who can afford them, and they will do it for cheap, and they will definitely finance you to do it, because they already have the money! 

The point is, when everyone else is talking about what they can’t do financially, rich people are talking about what they CAN do. See beyond the crisis, and find your own opportunities to succeed.

Focus on the Solutions, Not the Problem
The reason Trump is so rich is because he is a really exceptional problem solver. He spends his days meeting with people, talking on the phone, and flying around the world making deals. His job, every day, is to identify problems and then come up with solutions. He thinks, “How am I going to buy this company?” then he reasons, “By selling this this and this”. He thinks, “How am I going to survive this financial crisis?” then he reasons, “By keeping my money in gold and oil.” Problem solving. It’s how real businesses survive long term. It’s how rich people do business. And, it’s how you can really start to succeed. 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Rich people are rich because they see the whole picture, all the time. They don’t get caught up in details, petty arguments, and they definitely don’t have time for people who waste their time. Sure, they can still be friendly and polite (well, maybe not in Trump’s case :-), but they always have a mission – to do what they need to do to grow their business and turn a profit. And that means staying out of the weeds. How to do that? Delegate. Eliminate unnecessary communications. Delegate. And then delegate some more. 

I’m not professing to be the resident expert on becoming rich. But I do believe that with the right attitude, anyone is capable of achieving whatever success they set out to achieve. That could be wealth, it could be fame and popularity, or it could be to carve out a nice, comfortable existence for you and your family. Whatever your motivation, it’s what you make of the situations that occur in your life (even those that are out of your control) which will ultimately determine the outcome. 

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This week I’ve been reflecting on how far I’ve come in the past several years, as I’ve made the transition from worker-bee to creator. I used to be the typical high-tech worker. I knew how to do a lot of stuff, like build a web site, write a communiqué, build a document library, write a technical manual. But I didn’t really UNDERSTAND any of it. I didn’t really get how what I was doing in my little cubicle was affecting the rest of the company. I just worked away at my little job, and took home my paycheque.

Understanding Comes From Experience
Anyone can pick up a book, take a course, or be shown how to do something. But understanding  why you must take action “A” to achieve result “B” is key to success. I know how to tie my shoes. I know the techincal process I need to go through to put one lace over the next, loop it around and pull through. But it’s something entirely different to understand why I must tie my shoes. Until I do, I’ll be a sloppy, tripping mess.

So how do you make that transition from just knowing something to really understanding it? Experience. There’s no other way. I must take knowledge I’ve acquired and put it into practice. I must get up and do it every day, as long as I need to until I understand it. Only then can I see the true value in the knowledge I’ve acquired.

The Bottom Line is the Big Picture
I think a lot of people in the social media world are getting caught up in the little details. They are getting stuck in a rut of acquiring knowledge, and not taking the time to really understand what they are learning. Instead of working to acquire understanding, they keep busy rifling around looking for some social media expert to give them all the answers. They are relying on other people to give them top 10 lists, strategies and quick fix solutions instead of spending their time working on understanding. They are reading endlessly, but putting nothing into practice.

Be Accountable for Your Understanding
If there’s one thing I’ve grown to understand over the years, it’s that I am responsible for my own understanding. The experts are not there to solve all my problems. The role of the expert is to pass on knowledge to me. Then it’s up to me to take that knowledge and build an understanding for myself and how that knowledge applies to my situation and my goals. And that can only be done by coming up with my own solutions, applying them and gaining the experience I need to move forward.

There is a world of knowledge out there for the taking. There are dozens of great teachers in the social media space who are willing to send that knowledge out to you. But none of them are going to spoon feed you the answers – it’s impossible for them to do that and it’s too much to ask. You are the only one that can take the knowledge you’ve been given and turn it into your own understanding.

Understood?

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