Suddenly, I stopped.

I listened to what my mind was saying. It was telling me some funny things.

“You need to blog more. People will stop showing up.”

“Boy, you’ve been working really hard. Accomplishing so much. Doing so well. Hope it lasts.”

“Wow, are you ever stressed out! You poor thing. How are you going to cope?”

“You need to connect with your friends more. They need you. And if you don’t start reaching out more, they won’t be there when you need them.”

“What if this doesn’t work out – what if you fail? Then you’ll really have done it.”

“You’ve been sitting still for at least 1/2 an hour. Better do something, or you’ll drop the ball!”

Any of these messages sound familiar to you?

The way we talk to ourselves most of the time is, well, downright disrespectful. Imagine if it was someone else talking to you like this? Not very loving. Not what a true friend would say, to be sure.

I’m not here, because I’m over here. It’s true that I haven’t been blogging as much as usual. I could say I’ve  been really busy with work, which is also true, but ultimately that’s just an excuse. The real reason is I’ve been working on myself a lot lately. Exploring some spiritual stuff, working on managing my stress and taking better care of myself. Lots of things are working for me. I’ve stopped taking things so personally, which has always been one of my major flaws. I’m eating more healthy. I’m spending more time with my family, and around children, which always makes me feel good. But mostly, I’ve stopped.

In the midst of chaos…September is coming, and for many of us that means back to school, back to full time hours at work, back to all of those things that create chaos after the dog days of summer are past. It’s a time when we often fall off the wagon of taking care of ourselves, despite all of our best intentions.

Everyone has their own definition of chaos…here’s mine. I am working on the most challenging project of my career, and at the same time trying to build up business in other areas. School is starting in a few weeks, and I need to get planning my courses. I’ve got some really big plans for my students this year, to challenge them a lot, and really inspire them to achieve. I’m planning on doing some traveling, just short trips to Toronto and Montreal, but I need to fit that in. I need to honour my commitments to the SAW Video Co-op. I need to work in all the hours I have left with my friend to launch our labour of love web project by the end of September.

Shhhhh….If I’ve learned one thing this summer, it’s that the number one thing anyone can do to not feel overwhelmed in the midst of chaos is to stop. Be silent.

Many people automatically think silence means meditation. Not at all. There are many people I know who meditate every day and swear by it. Other people I know pray -  to Jesus, Buddha, Allah, the Universe, or whoever they most identify with. Others just light a candle in a dark room. Some go out in nature. I’ve done all these things, and still do many of them. But the point is, it’s about being silent. It’s about listening to your insides, and not paying attention to your outsides (and yes, this includes your own thoughts, which are ultimately outside of yourself). The more time you can spend being silent, the better off you will be.

All the cool kids are doing it. Have a problem? Don’t tell me you don’t. Every single one of us has at least one problem right now. Something that’s really bugging us. It goes over and over in our heads, but we never quite seem to get to a solution. Want to solve it? Stop. Be silent. Don’t allow yourself to think about the problem itself over and over and over again. Let it go. Put it in the hands of the Universe (or Jesus’, or Buddha’s, or the plant in the backyard’s….that part is your personal choice). Then wait. Watch what happens. Suddenly, it will occur to you how to solve it. Or the phone will ring, and the right thing will have happened to make the solution appear.

Stop fighting with your stress, your problems, your chaos. Fighting it is not going to make it go away. In fact, the objective is not to make it go away at all. Because challenges are part of life. It’s the path you are on. Instead of battling problems and chaos, work with them. And the best action you can take is to just stop. Get silent. Stop forcing the issue. Stop worrying.

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. But just choose one thing. Just a small thing, if you like. Let that thing go. See what happens. You might just be surprised.

How do you deal with chaos?

Share/Save

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let It Be.”
                                                                         –Paul McCartney

We are all leading busy lives, balancing work, travel, family, home life, and more. The economy is falling to pieces. Our politicians are in an uproar, throwing daggers at each other on a daily basis. Hurricanes, earthquakes, and other tragedies fill the headlines. It’s easy to become overwhelmed.

As concerned as we are about things in our daily lives, there is a point where all the worry and stres of daily life can cease to exist. That point comes in the three simple words that Paul sang so well.

Let it be. 

Hundreds of emails cram your inbox. The cell phone rings off the hook. Everyone wants a piece of you, and they all want their needs to be your number one priority at all times. Your mind is going 100 different directions at 100 miles an hour and there’s no sign it’s going to stop anytime soon. Is it possible to slow down? Yes. But how?

Let it be.

The kids are crying, your spouse is wondering why you are never home, the house is a disaster area. You haven’t talked to your parents or siblings or friends in weeks. Going home is supposed to be a respite from the craziness of work, but you feel a like a stranger in your own family right now. How do you reconnect with the people who are most important to you?

Let it be.

The economy is falling fast. Your retirement savings, your mortgage, even your bank account are all at risk of disappearing. There’s not much comfort in the news headlines either – they keep saying it’s going to get worse instead of better. How is it possible to feel secure in the face of so much insecurity? 

Let it be.

Every day the headlines tell about some other bad thing that has happened in the world. Reports talk about the scandal on the political scene, the abundance of natural disasters, and how global warming threatens our very existence. How can you sleep at night, with all this adversity around you?

Let it be.

In 10 years, 5 years, or 1 year, will any of the chaos that you percieve in your life right now matter? No. It will be a blip on the screen. You can overcome the anxiety you are living by changing your perception. By letting things be as they are. By not worrying about what is going to happen next year, tomorrow, or even in 10 minutes from now. 

All of these things that make your life seem so out of control are that way because they are out of your control! Whether you worry about it or not, clients will continue to make demands of your time. The kids will still cry. Politicians will still argue. Hurricanes will still happen. And, your friends and family will still love you. 

So, at the end of the day, isn’t it just better to simply let things be? 

Let        it          be.

UPDATE: Check out what Robert Hruzek is doing over at his blog this month, Middle Zone Musings. His theme this month is What I’ve Learned from Stress, and he’s asking people to send him links to their posts about managing stress. Check it out!!!

Share/Save

Have you ever had one of those days? Of course you have.

You know the kind. When you get up on the wrong side of the bed, and everything just seems out of sync, not quite right, and all the little bits and pieces of the day just add up to one big mess.

Oh, nothing catastrophic happens on days like this. In fact, it might even be that it’s just like every other day. but for what ever reason, you can’t seem to handle any of it.

This was my day today. I can’t really pinpoint what my problem was. I just seemed to be out of sync with the universe. Every phone call, email, conversation I had seemed just a bit off-kilter. I was distressed by small things. My mind wouldn’t stop being concerned about all of it, but I couldn’t focus on any of it. And it didn’t help that my office is surrounded by road construction right now -so my out of whack day was set to the background music of jackhammers, backhoes and that truly excruciating “beep…beep…beep…beep” of trucks reversing.

I left early, having done just about as much damage as I could do, and went home in a grump. I was exhausted, but I felt as if I really hadn’t accomplished anything all day! That only made me more frustrated. Of course my grumpy mood didn’t go over too well with my spouse, so I retreated to the basement and watched some stupid Jennifer Aniston romantic comedy and had a proper fit.

I emerged sometime later and satiated myself with comfort food (microwaved hot dogs – I know – it’s gross, but it worked), and lied down on the bed next to hubby while he watched the hockey game. I dozed off for about 20 minutes and when I awoke, remarkably, I was clear again.

What is it that makes us go into these blue funks once in a while? I know we all do it, for varying lengths of time, with varying symptoms. True, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, a lot of small stresses that I guess culminated in one big ball of stress that just had to come out. But now it’s over and I feel as if I can move forward with a clear head again.

What I need to figure out is what I can do to avoid this happening again? It doesn’t happen that often but when it does, man, it wears me out. I think I’m going to start by avoiding my construction-ridden office and working from the homestead for the next little while.

The good thing is I’m feeling much better and I’m back to my positive frame of mind.

This is the first time I’ve asked my blog readers for advice on emotional stuff. But I know that you are wise, and I appreciate any insight you care to share!

Share/Save