Oh, how we love our buzzwords, eh?

My head is spinning lately, and unfortunately it’s not with great stuff. It’s with frustration, distrust, and apathy. Those are heavy words, I know – but I’m feeling them.

How I do love these social media. I really do. Connections I’ve made on Twitter, Facebook, through my blog and by attending valuable events like Podcamps and PAB have literally changed my life. I’m a better writer now. I’m a public speaker. I’m teaching others how to work and play and grow their businesses with digital communications. 3 years ago I’d have thought none of it was possible.

And that’s why I’m so upset by what I’m seeing these days. The proliferation of snake oil salesmen, bad advice, and buzzwords that mean nothing is making me crazy. People are being swindled into paying thousands of dollars to attend conferences so they can be sold more fluffy eBooks and hardcovers. They are being forced to listen to the same presenters drone on about the same old stuff, as if it’s the wisdom of the ages. And people are getting suckered into it left, right and centre.

Be Authentic! Engage with your Customers! Increase your Influence!

Wait…wait. Think about those three words for a minute.

Authenticity. Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, my parents told me over and over again, “Just be yourself, and people will love you!”. If I lied to my parents and they found out – ZAP! No TV for a week. I was encouraged to be authentic, honest and truthful in my interactions. If I wasn’t, there were consequences. Therefore, I grew up being…well….Authentic.

Engagement. Being a military family, we moved around a lot when I was a kid. We were always posted in the summer, so the first step upon moving into a new neighbourhood was that my brother and I would have to go out and meet the other kids. Mom would stealthily identify in advance which houses on our street had kids my age, then she’d give me a gentle shove out the door. “Go to number 45, I think I saw a girl your age over there.”

“But Mom, I don’t want t…”

“Just go knock on the door, dear. They won’t bite!”

I’d suck up my courage and walk down the street and knock ever so quietly on the door. A parent would answer.

“Is your daughter home?”

“She’s in the back yard. Why don’t you go around?”.

I’d wander cautiously into the back yard, walk up to the little girl, and say “Hi, my name is Susan. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like your Barbies.”, just like my Mom taught me. Say your name, be polite, compliment the other person. Engage with them on their level. Hey – that sounds familiar.

Yep – apparently I learned Engagement when I was 6 years old, too.

Influence. On the playground, we always had to figure out what game we were going to play next. Hide and Seek? Tag? Red Rover? The bigger the group, the harder it was to decide. But, there were always those in the group that seemed to be able to sway our opinions. They’d give compelling reasons like, “Well, there’s 15 of us today, so Red Rover would be the most fun”. Sometimes we’d listen to them because they’d provide a more risky option – one that, if our parents found out, we’d probably get in trouble.

These select few had influence over the group. Why? Well, sometimes they tended to be the older kids, so in our eyes they knew more. But age didn’t always define it. Sometimes the influential ones were just the ones that said stuff that made sense. If we did it their way, we’d for sure have more fun. We’d take a bigger risk. We’d try (and maybe even learn) something new.

Soon, I learned how to come up with creative ideas that would influence the group. I’d voice my opinion, and sometimes, other kids would listen to me too. I may have not been the most popular kid back then, but I discovered I could influence when I wanted to.

So I guess I learned Influence on the playground.

So, if the concepts of Engagement, Authenticity and Influence were learned when we were kids, why are we hanging on the every word of the people who know little, and do nothing but tow the line? Someone telling me that in order to be successful in social media, I need to Engage, be Authentic, and increase my Influence is like someone treating me like I’m 6 years old. And that’s kind of insulting, don’t you think? Can you see why I’m frustrated?

To be human, you need to understand these three concepts. It should go without saying that all of your interactions, online, offline, in person, in social media, writing a letter, going to the post office, visiting your Grandma, should be Authentic, Engaging and Influential. That’s humanity, not social media.

Well, maybe this doesn’t make any sense, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. But before you do that, please watch this 4 minute video from my friend Andrea Ross. Because she is the embodiment of the things we SHOULD be paying attention to when it comes to being successful in this space. Thank you, Andrea, for your thoughts, your wisdom and your inspiration. You’re the real deal.

[photo credit: albyper on Flickr]

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I had a little talk with Scarborough Dude last night.

It’s sort of a biannual thing, my little talks with the Dude. It usually revolves around a Podcamp, some coffee or a beer. It always makes me want to write. He’s a wise man.

Last night’s talk took place in a loud, boisterous room filled with laughter and music. It was the Saturday night Podcamp Toronto social bash, an event that infuses the “social” in social media, brings online friends together in an offline way and adds a new dimension to already strong bonds.

The Dude and I surveyed the scene before us, taking in the moment. The Dude leaned over to me and said, “Can you feel it? Can you feel the vibe of this place? That’s what this is all about. People being free.”

I thought about that for a minute, the same way I think about most things the Dude says. And then I realized some things.

It starts with the environment. It has just dawned on me, after attending a total of 8 un-conferences (does that make me a veteran?) why the format of these events is so genius. It’s free. Not  just free, in the monetary sense. The entire concept is one of freedom. It doesn’t matter who I am, where I come from, how old I am, what I know or don’t know, how I dress, how much money I have, or what colour my hair is. I can decide I want to share something, and in one click I can become part of the event. I am free to tell my story and start a conversation around it. Others are free to join that conversation. The fundamental point of an un-conference is freedom of expression. And when there is total freedom of expression in an environment, amazing things start to happen.

Anyone can be a rock star. It’s common knowledge that at unconference events, everyone gets a chance. The playing field is completely leveled. Noobs hang out with A-listers. PR pros party with podcasters. Students mingle with CEOs. It happens because everyone that walks in the door is automatically given rock star status. The rule is that judgement and egos are to be left at the door, and all people are given equal freedom to express and connect. When this starts to happen, when it’s really working, it becomes what the Dude calls “The Vibe”.

Authenticity is an amazing thing. It’s a common misconception that New Media Un-conferences are about technology…that in order to get anything out of it you’ve got to be a tech geek of some sort. That could not be further from the truth. In fact, these are not technology events at all. They are human events. And because they are human events, they require one thing that enables freedom. They require the humans to be 100% real. Fortunately for this community, that realness comes quite naturally. And I think I’ve finally figured out why.

The medium IS the message. There are Bloggers, podcasters, Tweeters, Facebook status updaters, and media-makers of all kinds. We all tell different stories, stories that are unique to who we are. That’s a beautiful thing. But what is most fascinating isthat new media gives everyone the power to freely express themselves in their chosen format. Because of this inherent fact, we have inadvertently created a culture of freedom. When new media-makers converge in a single space, such as an un-conference, we  are already free, because we’ve been so good at expressing ourselves till now. When we get together in person, that sense of freedom proliferates at a rapid rate through the room. Our culture of freedom means we come into the space already accepting each other and respecting each person’s individuality and authenticity. And when a room full of people are completely free, accepting and authentic, an amazing thing happens. The energy changes. Everyone feels that Vibe of which the Dude so eloquently speaks. And for that time, we really are, completely free.

There are so many lessons we can learn from this. Freedom does not begin and end behind the walls of a conference. It’s something that we, as media-makers, inherently have. It’s something we have to offer others…from the people who consume our content, to our clients, to the people we love. Freedom begins with being true to yourself. It thrives when everyone follows suit. The Dude lives this. I am learning it. And the really cool part?  We can and will continue to create, share, and connect in the way that we choose.

Isn’t that the ultimate freedom?

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I’m watching with interest today a post written my my friend Danny Brown yesterday about a fake Twitter site. You can go read the post, and the comments if you like (WARNING: some of the comments contain some off-colour language).

This isn’t a post about the fake Twitter site, and it’s not a post about the silly comments it generated from the fake-Twitter site creators and their friends. This is a post about you.

In his post, Danny asks a very pertinent question – what if suddenly, someone took over your personal or professional brand (or your client’s) and started posing on social networks, saying all the wrong things, treating people badly or spreading untruths about you and your brand?

Think about it. You’ve worked for months, maybe a year or more, on creating a “social media” marketing strategy for your client. (Forget that you shoudn’t be creating marketing strategies focused on only social media, but that’s another post.) Then one day, a few Google searches reveal that someone is trying to damage you or your client through a fake ID, or a fake site. As Danny points out in his post, it would be pretty easy to do with the kind of thing the fake Twitter site was doing (it’s since been shut down, but that’s another story too).

The smart marketers are building contingency and damage control plans into their media strategies to counteract these kinds of threats. I’m not too worried about them. But the whole idea’s got me thinking on an even larger scale.

Forget impostors. What if suddenly, Twitter was gone? Or Facebook? Ning? WordPress? Sure, it’s unlikely these tools will just disappear. But what if?

Companies, agencies and individuals are putting thousands of dollars, hundreds of hours, and a ton of blood, sweat and tears into building their marketing strategies around a bunch of free tools, created by a bunch of people they don’t know. What strikes me is that people put all their faith into the tools without a second thought, but when it comes to each other, it’s about building trust and relationships over the long term. Shouldn’t we be subjecting the social media tools we’re using to the same kind of scrutiny to which we subject each other?

Why do we have so much faith that these tools are even going to be around next week, let alone next year? Who is to say that they don’t crumple under their own weight, get eaten up by some giant corporation, or simply, that something better comes along? All of these things are happening now – yet people still continue to focus all their efforts around the tools.

So what’s the solution? How do we stop relying so much on these tools and get on to the real work? Well, the good news is you don’t have to hire some fancy consultant to figure it out, because I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Social media is not about the tools.

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I read two really great blog posts this morning. One was from a person I’ve followed for some time, Kat French. The other was from someone I just met today, Wayne Kelly. The posts at first seem quite different. Kat is talking about 5 social media topics she could do without. Wayne is talking about how working hard and following your dreams is the secret to a happy life. I encourage you to go read them both.

What I found interesting is that even though both posts are about different topics, they are two sides of the same coin.

Kat points out an issue that she has (and many of us have) with what I like to call the social media bubble – a bunch of yim yams sitting around talking about the social media mumbo jumbo, posing at conferences, and complaining incessantly about inane topics like missing tweets or Facebook interface changes.

Wayne on the other hand, writes an insightful and autobiographical post about how he went from being on a career path that wasn’t right for him to being successful and happy after discovering his passion and seizing it.

Let’s explore what these posts have in common.

Every day, I find myself becoming more and more frustrated with this whole social media thing – to the point where I’m ruthlessly unfollowing and unsubscribing to people who don’t provide me value anymore. Spend all your time on Twitter talking about Twitter? Unfollow. Waste a blog post talking about all the social media “faux-lebrities” you got to drink beer with at SXSW? Unsubscribe. I’m not buying it, people. We’ve all had plenty of time to sit around with our eyeballs on our bellybuttons. Mark my words, if you are still doing it, you’re going to get left in the dust. Things are moving far too fast for you to still be circling your wagons around the possibility that someone’s going to find a viable business model in social media.

So what’s the solution? Well, for starters, how about trying to do some real work? Let’s explore what that means for a minute.

How To Know When Real Work is Getting Done

1. People who go to conferences just to hang out with rock stars are not doing real work. People who go to conferences because they are speaking at them, representing a client, or ACTUALLY trying to drum up new business contacts are doing real work.
2. People who talk about Twitter on Twitter all day long are not doing real work. People who use Twitter to connect, communicate, collaborate, and even socialize are doing real work.
3. People who sit around and talk all day about how busy they are are not doing real work. They are being busy. The people who are actually making things happen are doing real work.
4. The size of your bank account does not determine how hard you work. There are lots of lazy rich people. However, the amount of passion and drive and conviction you have can SIGNIFICANTLY affect the size of your bank account. And that, takes, you guessed it – real work.

Now, let’s take a look at Wayne’s post. Point number one that he makes is the title itself. “Stop Moaning and Make it Happen”. In other words, stop sitting around all day complaining about crap and actually go out and start doing some real work.

Wayne goes on to describe the long journey he had to take to wind up where he is now – as a video producer/editor/sound guy. He had to do crappy jobs, flunk out of school, and “in the meantime” jobs. All the while, though, he was doing one thing. Real work. Yup – even though he hated it at times. He still did real work. And while he did that real work, he thought about what he really wanted to do. While he still had that paycheck coming in, he learned to edit, and produce. Fate interjected and allowed him an opportunity to learn from a pro. Note how he seized that opportunity. He now was doing even MORE real work.

Wayne says something in his piece that is so true and is the entire point of this post.

“Work hard – but on the right things.”

That’s real work, people. Does it relate to passion? Of course. Does it mean sometimes it’s a means to an end? Absolutely – but that’s an important part of the process.

The real secret to success is not to walk around acting like you are a success. You WILL be found out eventually. The secret is to shut up. Sit down. And figure out what real, actual work you need to do to make stuff happen in your life. If your job is boring (or your don’t have one), then sitting around on Twitter all day is not going to help you. Sure, it might give you some connections. But it’s not going to change your situation for you.

You are the only one who can do that. Kat points it out. Wayne proves it.

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This morning I’ll be heading to Toronto for a weekend of connecting, sharing, learning and of course, fun at Podcamp. It’s been a long time since I’ve been really excited about attending an event. Perhaps it’s because I don’t get to go to many events. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting the chance to meet up with some people I haven’t seen in a while, and actually meet some people I’ve only known online until now.

The whole thing has me thinking about this online social community that I’m privileged to be part of.

I’ve been fortunate throughout my life to live in many different cities, be exposed to many different cultures, and work in many different industries. As a result, I have friends from just about every walk of life you can imagine. It’s terrific. Some I am very close with. With others I’m more of a good acquaintance. Each of them are special to me in their own way.

But there’s something about this relatively new group of friends I’ve discovered in the past couple of years. For some reason, even though I haven’t known these people for that long, and even though I don’t see them every day, or have even met some of them face to face, I feel very close to them. And today, it occurred to me why the Web allows for these close relationships to happen, in spite of the lack of geographical or physical connection.

You see, when you meet someone the traditional way – at work, through a mutual friend, or even by chance – the connection is very one on one. The relationship is built through a series of individual conversations. Often you only get a certain perspective on a person at first. You get to know them only in the context of your own interaction with them. But in the world of social media, we’re many. Talking to many.

So, not only are you getting the one on one stuff, and connecting on that level – you are also seeing many other dimensions of the person at the same time. You see their creative expression on their blog. You see their business side through their business-type profiles (think LinkedIn). And perhaps, most importantly, you are privvy to their conversations with others. You see how they interact, many different facets of their personality appear at once, depending upon who they are talking to.

The result? You get to know the person a lot better, a lot faster than you normally would.

And this, I think, is the primary reason why my online friends mean so much to me. Because I see all of them. And they see all of me. And that, is why I love this place, and why I love these friends.

Looking forward to seeing you again, meeting you finally, and getting to know you if you’re new.

Love,
Suze.

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