I’m sitting here this morning, going through my usual morning routine. Check email, reply to a few. Log onto Twitter, say good morning to people, see what’s going on. Check Facebook, reply to messages, comment on a few posts. Move over to my Google Reader, read a few of my faves, make note of some things to read later. This process leaves me energized and feeling connected with others, gives me some new information to take forward into my day, and also has the practical benefit of catching me up on my correspondence.

But what if all of this ended tomorrow? As unlikely as it is, imagine for a few minutes that you wake up tomorrow and there’s no Internet. No email, no blogs, no Twitter, no Facebook. No Google Chat, cloud computing or podcasts. It’s all gone.

Let’s pretend that this isn’t a catastrophe, that nobody is panicked about it. Let’s pretend that life goes on (because it does).

What would we take away from the online experience we’ve had?

We’d be better listeners. You know that experience when you’re at a loud party, and there’s so much noise in the background that it’s hard carry on a conversation? Social media is like that. We are bombarded with information on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis. 90% of it is noise. Other people having conversations that you’re not involved in. Links to stuff that you don’t really care about (but that others are passionate about).

Have you noticed at the noisy party, that the conversations you do have require a great deal of concentration and focus? You listen more intently. You work to filter out the background noise.

The social Web has taught us how to filter, how to zero in on those conversations that mean something to us. It’s taught us how to study what people are talking about so we can understand our customers better, and create better, more human-focused businesses. The social Web has made many of us much, much better listeners.

How do you think our newfound filtering abilities would work in a world without the Web? Well, I think we’d all be paying more attention to the things we care about. We’d stop focusing on things that weren’t our concern (like gossip, and negative people). Our noise filters are finely honed instruments now. Try listening outside the Web with the same filter in place. You’ll start to hear the conversations you need to hear, and find the opportunities you need to find.

We’d appreciate each other more. I’ve had many a conversation with non-Web inclined people about having online friends. There are plenty of people around who don’t believe that you can have a “true” friendship with someone you’ve never met in person, or have only met a few times.

Jon Swanson and I were friends for a year before we ever met in person. About 15 minutes before we met for the first time, I called him on the phone to get directions. Up until that moment, when he picked up the phone and said “hello”, our friendship had been entirely based in text on a screen. A few minutes later, we found ourselves sitting across from each other at lunch, and it was like we’d been having lunch together for years. The in-person conversation picked up right where it left off on the screen. And after meeting that day, the conversation moved seamlessly back to the computer screen. Online friendship is a funny thing – it makes no difference how you connect. It’s only important that you connect.

If the Web ended tomorrow, I think it’s safe to say that certain connections would fade away. But that happens anyway – people move in and out of our view all the time. Sometimes you have friends that you talk to all the time, and sometimes you drift apart. That ebb and flow exists whether we’re online or not.

But in a Web-less world, the real relationships would endure. I think the Web has taught us how to be better friends with people. It’s widened the scope of our world. We have now had the opportunity to see life through so many others’ eyes. Jon and I have quite different lives. It’s highly unlikely we’d have ever met if it wasn’t for the Web and connecting through a mutual friend. Even at that, we met on Twitter, so it was sort of left up to chance.

I think the Web has made us more curious about other people, and less afraid to reach out. Seeing what’s going on in other peoples’ lives makes us more caring, compassionate, and helpful.

If it ended tomorrow, I have no doubt that the relationships would endure. Maybe we’d go back to using the phone more. Maybe we’d write letters and post cards again. Maybe we’d have more reason to go visiting. But somehow, we’d find ways to keep the meaningful connections alive.

We’d promote our businesses better. I was having a conversation the other day with a client about promoting their business. Of course, we were talking about online tools, and the potential to use the Web to make real, human connections with their customers. There was excitement in the air as my client realized the possibilities that exist for really connecting with people in this way.

Marketing is no longer about shouting at people about your business. It’s not only about ads in the newspaper or press releases or billboards on the side of the highway. The two-way Web has caused a massive culture shift. Businesses are regularly talking with people now, and vice versa. It’s a magnificent thing. It’s a process that I think a lot of businesses, once they get into it, find very comfortable. Smart businesses have learned that conversation marketing works, and works well.

If the Web ended tomorrow, would this new way of conversing with our customers persist? Or would we fall back into our old habits?

I suspect that we’d find ways to keep the conversation going, don’t you?

If it all ended tomorrow….

The tools will be gone, but the shift will have already taken place.

The conversation lives on.

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I am not fond of the term “In Real Life (IRL)”.

As far as I’m concerned, everything I do is my real life. Some people that I consider good friends are people I’ve never met in person – amazing people like Becky McCray, Jason Falls, Jason’s Dad Chillie, Deb Brown – aw, heck, I could go on for a week. I’ve only met my friend Jon Swanson in person once, last year, for about an hour, at lunch. Before our short meeting, I called him, as we were about to pass through his town. I realized until that moment when he picked up the phone, that I’d never actually talked to him before. Our entire year long friendship, until that second, had happened through written text alone.

These people are my friends. I’ve grown to care about them deeply over the past few years, as much as I care about people that are in my physical space every day. I think they might be a bit put out if I thought that they weren’t part of my “real life”.

So, maybe I can make a deal with you…how’s about we stop using “in real life” to describe our offline relationships? It’s not respectful of our online friends. Cool?

That said, this post is really more about the offline world, as opposed to the online one. Call it my feeble attempt at being ironic.

Where everybody knows your name. Every Friday afternoon, a whole gaggle of geeks converge on a pub downtown for what is affectionately known as #FridayOffice* (go ahead, search the hashtag on Twitter – you’ll see.). It was started by my friend Tom (@wtl), who is a home-based working type of guy, as a way for him to get out of the “office” for an afternoon, have some lunch, and possibly get caught up on a few things. Tom is the fixture of the event, he takes up residence mid-morning and stays around the whole afternoon. Other people drop in and out, grabbing some lunch, maybe a beer, and often hauling out their laptops for a while too. It’s evolved from one guy getting a change of scenery to a weekly tradition.

But #FridayOffice is about much more than beer and lunch. It’s not really that much about work. What it’s really about is community. We go there to get a break from our busy weeks, to socialize, and to connect. Oh sure, lots of us spend time together online during the week…often we’re all floating in each others’ Twitter streams and Facebook walls. We’re reading and commenting on each others’ blogs, and sometimes we’re even working together on projects. But the in-person meet up is a different dynamic altogether. Why? Because it’s real-time. I mean REAL real-time. We get to talk, laugh (and boy, do we laugh!), collaborate, and learn. There’s lots of energy in play, so it’s a place where we can openly discuss issues, come up with ideas, and check in with how people are REALLY doing. Every time I go to #FridayOffice, I come away with something I didn’t have before. I get a lot out of those couple of hours every week. Others do too – that’s why we keep showing up.

Reach out and touch someone. As much as I love connecting to people online, my goal is always, someday, to meet my online friends and colleagues in-person. Why? Because once I’ve had the experience of being in the same room as someone, somehow, our relationship changes a bit. I mean, it’s okay if I don’t get to meet you in person. It doesn’t mean we’re friends any less. But every single time, without fail, that I’ve met one of my online friends in person, I get a whole new perspective on them. They say something like 80% of communication is non-verbal. That means, if I’ve never talked to you face to face, I only sort of know you 20% (and likewise, you only know me that much). Now, it turns out that’s a pretty important 20%, right? After all, I’ve got whole friendships based on that 20%. But once we’ve met, shaken hands (or, more likely hugged, ‘cuz I’m a hugger), and have had some time to SEE how each other is – the way our voices sound, our mannerisms, facial expressions, how we tilt our head to the side or that nervous leg twitch – we get the rest of the story. Instantly, our relationship goes to a different level. We get the full picture of each other.

Meeting in person certainly does NOT discount the friendship we’ve built to that point. But it does add a new layer, and an important one. In person is the reason why the geek community here in Ottawa is so tight knit. We make a point of having meet-ups, and tweet-ups, and going to Third Tuesdays and Social Media Breakfasts and #FridayOffice. We know that our online interactions are critical to making connections, building our friendships and finding new opportunities to do business together. But like my friend Eden (whom I HAVE met in person) says – face to face trumps online, every time.

So…it pays to get out from behind the computer screen once in a while. For as much as your real life can exist here on the Web, the “rest of your life” exists out there.

What are you waiting for?

– #FridayOffice is a registered trademark (well, sort of) of What The Lemur?

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There’s an unusual trend happening in my life right now, in terms of how I’m connecting with people. I’m doing a lot of “offline” stuff. Perhaps it’s just the nature of my schedule of late, perhaps it’s intentional, perhaps it’s fate…but I am finding some great richness in the interactions I’m having with the non-geeks in my life.

For instance, thanks to my offline friend Ray, I am now on the Board of Directors of a fantastic local organization called SAW Video Co-op. SAW is a place where local video artists have access to resources, training and equipment to produce their own independent videos. It’s a super vibrant community. Yes, you can draw some parallels between video geeks (of which I am one) and Internet geeks (of which I am also one), but essentially this is an offline experience for me. I’m participating in in-person meetings. The events I’ll be attending are happening in a self-contained way – people are physically present, unlike a Tweetathon, a webinar, or a Twestival. Some might argue that an organization like SAW could benefit from some of these online experiences, but that’s another post altogether.

Another example of connecting in the offline world occurred last night at my Dad’s 71st birthday party. Other than the fact that my Mom sent an email to us kids to inform us of the time and date of the gathering, the event took place offline. My brother and SIL, my two nephews were there. So were my parents’ close friends, who we consider our aunts and uncles. Everyone was talking all at the same time. We ate birthday pie, and cheescake, and drank vanilla coffee. The kids ran around. I built a Lego house out of the same Lego set we had when I was a kid. My Dad told stories. My Mom giggled in the kitchen with my aunts. We were all there, and present.

We spend so much time cultivating our online relationships that sometimes we forget that there is a whole world out there that is not so dependent on connectivity. My parents, and aunts and uncles, though they sometimes use the Internet, don’t RELY on it for their daily interactions. They still pick up the phone. They even mail letters and cards and stuff once in a while. They spend time together, in the same physical space, if they want to connect with friends.

Connecting with others online over the past few years has been a life altering event for me. I’ve become close friends with people I’d have otherwise never met. I’ve gotten phenomenal new business opportunities. My life has definitely been enriched by my experience, and the Web will undoubtedly continue to play a major role in my life.

However, I am really beginning to appreciate my offline life a lot more. It operates at a much slower pace. It doesn’t require the same kind of immediacy, because people are just more relaxed when they are facing each other. Nothing is left to the imagination when you can see someone’s body language and facial expressions. You get the whole conversation, because you are seeing, and listening, and touching, and ultimately understanding a lot more.

I’m not just talking about moving your online world to your offline. We are being conferenced to death right now – there’s all of these events we can go to where we can meet each other in the flesh. That works well for some, and it’s fine. But look around you. Remember those people you knew before the Internet? They are still there. Pick up the phone. Go knock on their door. Have that experience too.

And, if you are still unsure about the power of connecting in the physical world, watch Matt. Now that’s how you bring people together.

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It all started with a simple tweet.

I was reminiscing on Twitter about the four years I spent as part of an a capella quartet. I get a bit nostalgic about it this time of year, as Christmas was our high season…we’d perform Christmas carols at concerts around town, house parties and on street corners in Ottawa’s Byward Market. I happened to tweet something about a vocal ensemble called The King’s Singers, who were such an inspiration to me at that time, mostly because of their song, “New Day”. This is one of the songs that made we want to sing a capella music. Have a listen, I’m sure you’ll see why.

Well, it seems my tweet was seen by none other than Jennifer Covert, someone I met briefly at Podcamp Ottawa this year, and eMarketing Officer at the National Arts Centre. She asked if I was going to The King’s Singers show on Monday night. I confess I had missed that announcement entirely, so I replied that no, I wasn’t, sadly! I went on about my business, and about 20 minutes later received a message from Jennifer saying that she had a couple of extra tickets and was giving them to me! Talk about a wonderful early Christmas gift!

I’ve been thinking a lot about online relationships. Lately, I’ve had a lot of really good experiences with relationship building and I’ve also seen a lot of really good examples of how NOT to build online relationships. Last night, and while I was sitting in the audience listening to the amazing, beautiful, heart-swelling sounds of this amazing vocal ensemble, along with some incredible pieces by the NAC Orchestra, I learned some important lessons about relationship building.

It starts with you. A capella music only works if each person in the ensemble knows exactly what they are doing. This takes a lot of individual work up front. In my quartet, we would get our music and a cassette tape of our part. The first thing we’d do is go home and practice and practice our part until we had it nailed. Only then, would we be able to come back as part of the group and put the pieces together. Last night it was obvious to me that the 6 guys in The King’s Singers know their individual parts so well, they could probably sing them during a hurricane with a tsunami and a tornado at the same time and not miss a note. This means, when they put the pieces together, 6 voices become one. It was an unbelievable experience.

Relationship building works in much the same way. In order to truly be able to build solid relationships online, you must know your own part first. You must know what you have to offer the rest of the network. You must practice, and think, and get focused. Then, you are ready to join the chorus.

Blend, but be unique, too. The King’s Singers are six voices: 2 countertenors (super high), one tenor (high-ish), 2 baritones (low-ish), and one bass (super low). Much of the time, they are all singing different notes. The real power of their sound is when all six different notes come together to sound like one voice. This is a result of their impeccable skill at blending. They are truly one of the best groups in the world at the art of the blend. Blending in a vocal ensemble is extremely difficult to do well. The key is to listen to the other voices, and find where your voice needs to fit in. Not just by singing the right note (which is helpful!) but by adjusting the tone and intonation of your singing to hit just the perfect balance of sound.

At the same time, it’s important not to blend in too much; that can be boring. Each of the men in the group (David, Robin, Paul, Philip, Christopher and Stephen), brings their own unique style and voice to the ensemble. As much as you can hear them as one voice, each of their individual voices makes the whole unique sound come to life. Stephen’s awesome bass resonates in your chest. David and Robin’s fantastic high notes sit up like they are on top of a mountain; refreshing and exhilarating. Paul, Philip and Christopher provide the inner workings – complex harmonies that fill the air and send shivers up your spine.

In our online relationships, blending is crucial. It’s how we get things done. It’s how we are able to come together at events like Podcamps, create incredible projects like 12for12k, and how we are able to successfully co-exist on tools like Twitter. We blend, we merge, we learn, and we move forward. But, at the same time, our networks would be nothing if it wasn’t for the uniqueness of all the voices. We’ve got the high vocals and the low key. We’ve got the nuances and harmonics of the in between. The power of social media is in the sum total of each unique voice. Without that uniqueness, the resulting blend is not possible.

Be Original. The thing I love most about The King’s Singers are their original arrangements of songs. This was a Christmas concert, so there were a few traditional arrangements of songs, like my personal favourite, “O Holy Night”, which you can hear them perform with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, here. It was astounding and magical.

But what I love is how they take a traditional song and give it a remarkable twist. For instance, they took “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and mashed it up with Dave Brubeck’s famous “Take Five” , creating something 100% unique and memorable. Their speedy, “let’s just get this over with” take on “Jingle Bells” was also funny and silly, showing that even though they are very serious musicians, they don’t take themselves too seriously. Their encore performance was a “drunk and debocherous” version of Deck the Halls, where, with each verse, they fell more off the wagon, but somehow managed to still show their unmatched technical skill.

Originality is what makes the online world what it is. Sure, we might all have different opinions on things. Sometimes, we might not all get along. But that’s just the thing makes the social web so amazing. We all have the opportunity to be unique and individual here. We all write our own arrangements. We mash things up, we create something new. At times, we tend to take ourselves too seriously, but soon, we’re made to see the lighter side of it all. Originality is expected and encouraged here, and in the end, the space is richer because of it.

If you ever get the opportunity to see The King’s Singers in concert, do not hesitate to do it. They are incredible, and even if vocal ensembles aren’t your thing, I guarantee you will be moved by their performance. And, as I did – you just might learn something, too.

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One final note. Canada’s National Arts Centre has many wonderful things to offer online. Their multimedia section is home to many interesting and insightful video clips, audio clips and podcasts. They are extremely well produced and if you are at all interested in music and the arts, definitely worth listening to and subscribing to. Check it all out on their web site.

Photo by kingssingers6 on Flickr.

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Life is full of lessons. Every day I learn at least one thing that I didn’t know the day before. I would say we probably all do.

The past 5 years or so have been a time of tremendous learning and growth for me. I’ve bought a house, gotten married (yes, in that order – which I highly recommend!), become a full-time entrepreneur, worked hard to weed out the negative people in my life, and reconnected with some wonderful old friends. I’ve discovered a rich and fascinating online world, and made some really great new friends here.

It’s like I’ve been climbing up a slope of learning these past few years. The path was really steep sometimes. Occasionally I stumbled, even fell. Other times it leveled out; it was pretty smooth sailing. I’m grateful to have had plenty of help on my journey, from incredible friends, and of course my family.

Now I feel like I’ve come to the top of the mountain. I can see pretty clearly what lies ahead of me, and more importantly, what I need to do to get there. As I begin to travel down the other side of the mountain, I am able to release some of my new knowledge as I go. This is happening in all aspects of my life right now.

Professionally, I have the amazing opportunity to pass on my more than 18 years of media industry experience to young people who are just starting out in their careers. Now that I am happily married, I find myself passing on advice to my single girlfriends about dating, finding the person that’s right for you, and being happy in a relationship. And, now that I’ve weeded out the bad energy in my life, I’m able to help others to do the same.

I know that once I am through this teaching phase and at the bottom of the mountain again, I will climb the next mountain of learning. There are many more mountains to climb, many more challenges to face. I am happy to know that I’ve made it this far, and that I have something to offer as a result. And I am excited to know there’s much more to come.

Photo by Matt Phillips on Flickr.

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