I had lunch yesterday with a friend I hadn’t seen in 13 years. It’s amazing how, with some people, you can just pick up where you left off. I am glad we’ve reconnected and look forward to getting to know her again.

We talked and shared what we’d been up to the past several years. She told me about her new business, and the musical pursuits she’d been working on. I told her about getting married, starting a business, and my own musical pursuits. As I was weaving in and out of various storylines, I suddenly had an amazing realization – that one simple action I’d taken 11 years ago literally changed the course of my life. I’ll explain.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I’d come through some struggles in the mid 1990′s with my health. Flash forward to about 1998, and my life had changed dramatically. I’d now graduated from my 2nd run at college, and was working in the high tech industry as a content developer and teacher. I lived in my own apartment now and was exceptionally happy with both my work and my new circle of friends. With my life back on track, I started to seek out new creative pursuits. I knew I wanted to get back into singing, but wasn’t sure how. Quickly enough, life got busy again and I put that dream on the back burner.

Then one day, I was casually perusing our local arts and entertainment newspaper, and I came across a tiny little ad in the classified section. “Womens’ Choir auditions – phone xxx-xxxx to sign up”. Having never done a singing audition in my life, I quickly pushed the thought aside, thinking they were probably looking for more experienced singers. However, over the next few days, the thought of that ad kept nagging at me for some reason. With nothing to lose, I finally sucked it up and picked up the phone. My audition was set for the following Thursday.

Skip forward, I was fortunate to get into the choir, a womens’ choir about 40 strong called “Vox Femina”. I proceeded to spend the next 4 years forging some amazing friendships with some terrific women, performing all over the place, including down in the U.S.

One day, I was approached by one of my choir mates. She was thinking of forming an a capella quartet and they were looking for someone to fill the baritone part. I was flattered to be asked and decided it was a great new challenge for me. I joined that group, called Solera, and we proceeded to have another amazing 4 years, performing all over town and even singing the national anthem at a few baseball games too. The four of us became close friends, and we had a blast.

The quartet disbanded when one of the gals moved away to Toronto and another moved to Newfoundland. A few months later, I was set to head down to Toronto for a weekend visit with my friend, and I came across another ad, this time online, for an event called ‘Podcamp Toronto‘. I asked my friend if she’d like to join me to check it out that weekend, and since it was free, we had nothing to lose.

I walked into that event, was warmly greeted by many amazing people, and had my eyes opened wide to a whole new world. What I learned about new media that weekend and what I’ve been able to learn since has literally changed the direction of my business and the way that opportunities have flowed to it. I owe much of my success to the people in that room that weekend.

So you see, if it wasn’t for having a reason to go to Toronto that particular weekend (to see my friend), I wouldn’t have gone to Podcamp and probably wouldn’t have been inspired to start blogging or engaging on social platforms. If it wasn’t for the quartet, I’d have never become good friends with the person I was visiting that weekend. If it wasn’t for the choir, I’d have never been in the quartet. If it wasn’t for me happening upon that tiny newspaper ad that day, I’d have never known about the choir.

That tiny ad changed my life.

But most importantly – my intention (wanting to get more into music) and my action (picking up the phone, practicing hard for my audition) brought the rest of it into reality.

Kinda neat how that works, eh?

Express your intention. Ask for what you want. Take action. And pay close, close attention to the little, seemingly insignificant events in your life, because often, they are the ones that have the biggest impact.

Do you have a story about one event that changed the course of your life? Please share in the comments!

[photo credit: GiantsFanatic on Flickr]

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You want it all. You want it now. You’ve done everything right. Read all the books. Taken all the workshops. Shaken all the right hands. So why hasn’t your dream come true yet?

Your dream could be anything. A better job, a nicer house, a better girlfriend, or that next big client. Dreams are a good thing to have. They give us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. But dreams are difficult to achieve.

When we see other people achieving their dreams, and ours still remain just out of our grasp, we get very frustrated. That woman just bought a beautiful cottage. That guy just sold his startup for ten million bucks. Those two seem so happy together. Other people’s dreams have come true, and you’re left wondering if yours ever will.

The Rollercoaster from Hell. I don’t like rollercoasters. Never have. Having the wits scared out of me is not really my idea of a good time. Neither is cheating death.

I’ve been an entrepreneur full time for almost 3 years now. Every single day of my life is one continuous rollercoaster ride. We reach the highest highs and the lowest lows all at the same time. The loop de loups are unbelievable. I wish that my days could have fewer ups and downs. I wish I could spend all my days celebrating success and that I’d never have to worry about failure. Or do I?

The rollercoaster ride is fundamental to dream achievement. I am truly passionate about what I do. I am completely emotionally invested in my business. It makes me laugh big fat belly laughs. It makes me cry in my pillow. It makes me want to dance with joy. It makes me want to throw things. It doesn’t make me like rollercoasters any more. But now, I just tolerate them and accept them, because they are part of the deal. No dream worth having was ever achieved on a straight road.

Hot Pursuit Never Gets You Anywhere. I remember back in high school I had a HUGE crush on this boy. He was my first love. Man, I really dug this guy. (Oh how I hope he isn’t reading this post, as I realize suddenly we are still Facebook friends.) I chased after this boy in a big way. I went out of my way to call him, to be around him, to talk to him. I was what you would call, in hot pursuit.

I chased and I chased and I chased. He was, after all, my dream guy. I was lucky he was a good person. Even though I “loved” him, the feeling was not mutual. For all my chasing, all we ever became was good friends. I was grateful for that (and still am). That experience I had at the ripe old age of 13, is a metaphor for the pursuit of dreams.

Chasing a dream never works, for a couple of reasons. First, when you chase, it’s obvious. Others notice, and they don’t see the chasing of a dream. They see desperation. And nobody wants to do business with or start dating desperation. It helps if you are a nice person, of course, because then the chasing isn’t as obvious. If you’re fun to be around, people won’t mind. They will like you. But they will always keep you at arms length because they sense your ulterior motive (i.e. I am desperate for you to be my boyfriend/client/wife/boss!) And in the end, like me and dream boy, what you may end up with is a good friend, but you won’t get your dream.

Relax. Go Do It. So what’s the solution? If I don’t actively chase my dreams, how will I ever make them happen? Well first, stop. Take a deep breath. Then stop trying so damn hard.

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of dreams coming true. You imagine yourself on that podium getting the big award. You envision bags of money all around you. You see yourself walking down the aisle. But if the actions you are taking are only about achieving that ideal, then you are coming from a place of lack. You are wanting to be somewhere you are not. You will only be happy once you achieve your dream. And that’s the wrong place to be.

This is the downfall of dreamers. They always want to be someplace else, when where they really need to be is right where they are. Ever hear the story of the guy who was an overnight success? Flash forward two years and he’s on the street, having lost all the fame and fortune he wasn’t ready for to a life of depression and drugs.

The reason you haven’t achieved your dream yet is because you need to spend your time preparing to be able to handle it. That means working hard. Making connections. Appreciating what it’s like to be broke, or lonely (or both). Feeling exactly the way you need to feel in the situation you are in right now.

The bottom line is, you need to have dreams. You MUST have them. But until you stop demanding they come true this minute, you will be stuck in a pattern of chasing. Once you let go of your want, and start doing what you need, you’ll suddenly see a shift. And your dreams will seem closer to reality than ever before.

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