Oh, how we love our buzzwords, eh?

My head is spinning lately, and unfortunately it’s not with great stuff. It’s with frustration, distrust, and apathy. Those are heavy words, I know – but I’m feeling them.

How I do love these social media. I really do. Connections I’ve made on Twitter, Facebook, through my blog and by attending valuable events like Podcamps and PAB have literally changed my life. I’m a better writer now. I’m a public speaker. I’m teaching others how to work and play and grow their businesses with digital communications. 3 years ago I’d have thought none of it was possible.

And that’s why I’m so upset by what I’m seeing these days. The proliferation of snake oil salesmen, bad advice, and buzzwords that mean nothing is making me crazy. People are being swindled into paying thousands of dollars to attend conferences so they can be sold more fluffy eBooks and hardcovers. They are being forced to listen to the same presenters drone on about the same old stuff, as if it’s the wisdom of the ages. And people are getting suckered into it left, right and centre.

Be Authentic! Engage with your Customers! Increase your Influence!

Wait…wait. Think about those three words for a minute.

Authenticity. Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, my parents told me over and over again, “Just be yourself, and people will love you!”. If I lied to my parents and they found out – ZAP! No TV for a week. I was encouraged to be authentic, honest and truthful in my interactions. If I wasn’t, there were consequences. Therefore, I grew up being…well….Authentic.

Engagement. Being a military family, we moved around a lot when I was a kid. We were always posted in the summer, so the first step upon moving into a new neighbourhood was that my brother and I would have to go out and meet the other kids. Mom would stealthily identify in advance which houses on our street had kids my age, then she’d give me a gentle shove out the door. “Go to number 45, I think I saw a girl your age over there.”

“But Mom, I don’t want t…”

“Just go knock on the door, dear. They won’t bite!”

I’d suck up my courage and walk down the street and knock ever so quietly on the door. A parent would answer.

“Is your daughter home?”

“She’s in the back yard. Why don’t you go around?”.

I’d wander cautiously into the back yard, walk up to the little girl, and say “Hi, my name is Susan. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like your Barbies.”, just like my Mom taught me. Say your name, be polite, compliment the other person. Engage with them on their level. Hey – that sounds familiar.

Yep – apparently I learned Engagement when I was 6 years old, too.

Influence. On the playground, we always had to figure out what game we were going to play next. Hide and Seek? Tag? Red Rover? The bigger the group, the harder it was to decide. But, there were always those in the group that seemed to be able to sway our opinions. They’d give compelling reasons like, “Well, there’s 15 of us today, so Red Rover would be the most fun”. Sometimes we’d listen to them because they’d provide a more risky option – one that, if our parents found out, we’d probably get in trouble.

These select few had influence over the group. Why? Well, sometimes they tended to be the older kids, so in our eyes they knew more. But age didn’t always define it. Sometimes the influential ones were just the ones that said stuff that made sense. If we did it their way, we’d for sure have more fun. We’d take a bigger risk. We’d try (and maybe even learn) something new.

Soon, I learned how to come up with creative ideas that would influence the group. I’d voice my opinion, and sometimes, other kids would listen to me too. I may have not been the most popular kid back then, but I discovered I could influence when I wanted to.

So I guess I learned Influence on the playground.

So, if the concepts of Engagement, Authenticity and Influence were learned when we were kids, why are we hanging on the every word of the people who know little, and do nothing but tow the line? Someone telling me that in order to be successful in social media, I need to Engage, be Authentic, and increase my Influence is like someone treating me like I’m 6 years old. And that’s kind of insulting, don’t you think? Can you see why I’m frustrated?

To be human, you need to understand these three concepts. It should go without saying that all of your interactions, online, offline, in person, in social media, writing a letter, going to the post office, visiting your Grandma, should be Authentic, Engaging and Influential. That’s humanity, not social media.

Well, maybe this doesn’t make any sense, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. But before you do that, please watch this 4 minute video from my friend Andrea Ross. Because she is the embodiment of the things we SHOULD be paying attention to when it comes to being successful in this space. Thank you, Andrea, for your thoughts, your wisdom and your inspiration. You’re the real deal.

[photo credit: albyper on Flickr]

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I had a little talk with Scarborough Dude last night.

It’s sort of a biannual thing, my little talks with the Dude. It usually revolves around a Podcamp, some coffee or a beer. It always makes me want to write. He’s a wise man.

Last night’s talk took place in a loud, boisterous room filled with laughter and music. It was the Saturday night Podcamp Toronto social bash, an event that infuses the “social” in social media, brings online friends together in an offline way and adds a new dimension to already strong bonds.

The Dude and I surveyed the scene before us, taking in the moment. The Dude leaned over to me and said, “Can you feel it? Can you feel the vibe of this place? That’s what this is all about. People being free.”

I thought about that for a minute, the same way I think about most things the Dude says. And then I realized some things.

It starts with the environment. It has just dawned on me, after attending a total of 8 un-conferences (does that make me a veteran?) why the format of these events is so genius. It’s free. Not  just free, in the monetary sense. The entire concept is one of freedom. It doesn’t matter who I am, where I come from, how old I am, what I know or don’t know, how I dress, how much money I have, or what colour my hair is. I can decide I want to share something, and in one click I can become part of the event. I am free to tell my story and start a conversation around it. Others are free to join that conversation. The fundamental point of an un-conference is freedom of expression. And when there is total freedom of expression in an environment, amazing things start to happen.

Anyone can be a rock star. It’s common knowledge that at unconference events, everyone gets a chance. The playing field is completely leveled. Noobs hang out with A-listers. PR pros party with podcasters. Students mingle with CEOs. It happens because everyone that walks in the door is automatically given rock star status. The rule is that judgement and egos are to be left at the door, and all people are given equal freedom to express and connect. When this starts to happen, when it’s really working, it becomes what the Dude calls “The Vibe”.

Authenticity is an amazing thing. It’s a common misconception that New Media Un-conferences are about technology…that in order to get anything out of it you’ve got to be a tech geek of some sort. That could not be further from the truth. In fact, these are not technology events at all. They are human events. And because they are human events, they require one thing that enables freedom. They require the humans to be 100% real. Fortunately for this community, that realness comes quite naturally. And I think I’ve finally figured out why.

The medium IS the message. There are Bloggers, podcasters, Tweeters, Facebook status updaters, and media-makers of all kinds. We all tell different stories, stories that are unique to who we are. That’s a beautiful thing. But what is most fascinating isthat new media gives everyone the power to freely express themselves in their chosen format. Because of this inherent fact, we have inadvertently created a culture of freedom. When new media-makers converge in a single space, such as an un-conference, we  are already free, because we’ve been so good at expressing ourselves till now. When we get together in person, that sense of freedom proliferates at a rapid rate through the room. Our culture of freedom means we come into the space already accepting each other and respecting each person’s individuality and authenticity. And when a room full of people are completely free, accepting and authentic, an amazing thing happens. The energy changes. Everyone feels that Vibe of which the Dude so eloquently speaks. And for that time, we really are, completely free.

There are so many lessons we can learn from this. Freedom does not begin and end behind the walls of a conference. It’s something that we, as media-makers, inherently have. It’s something we have to offer others…from the people who consume our content, to our clients, to the people we love. Freedom begins with being true to yourself. It thrives when everyone follows suit. The Dude lives this. I am learning it. And the really cool part?  We can and will continue to create, share, and connect in the way that we choose.

Isn’t that the ultimate freedom?

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It’s not you…it’s me.

In 2007, I was introduced to social media at Podcamp Toronto. I happened upon a group of amazing people, many of whom I’m happy to call good friends today. What they were doing that weekend was remarkable. They were figuring out new ways to communicate, collaborate, do business, and build communities. They were exploring and creating and sharing in ways that 90% of the rest of the world didn’t even have an inkling of yet. But above all, they were there with open arms, willing to welcome media oldtimers like myself into the community without judgement. (Literally with open arms – I don’t think I’ve ever been hugged so much in my life as I was that weekend!). They let me ask silly questions. They didn’t laugh at my first blog post. They didn’t mock me when I asked what a DM was on Twitter. They led me through uncharted territory, and changed the way I do business and connect. To those people (they know who they are), I am forever grateful.

But I think my love affair with social media is over.

It was passionate, steamy, obsessive, blissful, and heart wrenching. There were the highest of highs, the lowest of lows, and everywhere in between. I’ve been moved to tears, laughed my butt off, and had thoughts provoked in ways I never imagined possible. But the time has come. I’ve got to end it.

Now before you go getting all in a tizzy…I’m not going anywhere. We can still be friends. The best of friends, in fact.

But here’s the reason I can’t be with social media anymore in the same way. Frankly, I’m ready to move on. I’m not saying I know everything – quite the contrary – there’s still so much more to learn!  The problem is, we are stuck. We, the ground-breaking, cutting edge super early adopters, the ones who were part of the first 1000 people on Twitter, are still having the same conversations.We’re still talking about how to use Twitter more effectively, how to get more readers on our blogs, how to maximize ROI from social media. We’re still talking about how to convince our boss to use social media. I’ve read and written more on those topics in the past 3 years…I could fill an encyclopedia.

Do we still need to be educating people, helping businesses, and figuring out ways to use new media? Of course we do. It’s here. It’s happening now. We need to keep doing it because that’s what we know. We’re good at it. But we also need to be looking ahead. We need to stop twittering about Twitter, and look down the pipe at what things like Semantic technology and linked data are going to mean to us and our clients in 2 years. We need to look at what video is going to be doing in a few years and how the way we consume mass media and new media are going to merge and change. We need to look at the new technology that companies are developing and really understand how that’s going to impact us. And above all, we need to know where the opportunities will be.

We don’t need to be looking at the “big thing” that is social media anymore. We get it. We have our arsenal, we know how to build effective strategies, and mould them and shape them into successful, measurable action plans for our clients. We’re out there, we’re doing it, and we’re making it work.

But the real danger is, if we don’t start to look beyond the current state of social media, then in a couple of years when it all changes, we’re going to be right in the same place we were in 2008 – trying to navigate new terrain without really knowing what direction to go.

So, social media…it’s been fun. I’m taking away from this passionate affair a new way of communicating, building relationships and doing business. I’m also taking away some really awesome new friends (yes, social media, I get to keep the friends in this break up).  I’m passing what I’ve learned from you on to my clients, and helping them to be more successful. But I need to be somewhere else now. I need to be out there…understanding what’s coming next so that I can be ready when it gets here. It’s been fun. I’ll always love you. xoxo

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This weekend I’m thrilled to be attending my 2nd Podcamp Montreal. Last year’s inaugural event was, to say the least, fantastic. I met a ton of amazing people, and I can’t stress enough how much I love the unique vibe and class that the Montreal organizers bring to the event. You really have to experience it in person to know what I mean.

Podcamp is about connecting, sharing, community, and network building. It’s also about technology, and the Web. So it stands to reason that lots of people will be bringing their technology with them to Podcamp, and using it profusely throughout the weekend. There will be abundant laptops clicking away, video recorders running, photos being snapped, and mobile devices being mobile. Which is totally fine. Far be it from me to deny a geek access to their technology!

I choose to do things a bit differently when I attend conferences. I take a mostly low-tech approach to my environment here. I don’t lug a laptop. I carry my iPhone (I’m not crazy!) but I use it sparingly.

Ow ow ow! Hand cramp! I am definitely a note taker. I write stuff down all the time. I have to. It’s part of my composition – it’s how I retain information and learn new things. I type a lot faster than I write, so if I’m typing notes during a session, I tend to want to try to write everything down. And if I’m doing that, I’m not really listening to the presentation. So I come armed with no more than a notebook and pen. That way, if I am writing, it’s only key info. And, pen to paper is a lot less distracting for the person sitting next to me as well.

One other side benefit of not bringing a laptop? Well, I typically don’t like to walk up to someone and strike up a conversation if they look “busy” on their computer. How available do I look if in between sessions, I’m head down trying to figure out how to upload the video I just shot, or checking my email? If I’m not clacking away, I stand a much better chance of making eye contact with someone, and starting up a new conversation.

Are you here for you or for them? I might get in trouble for this one, but again, this the way I do things – I’m not judging others here. If you find value in live tweeting events, then go to town with it. Really. However…consider what value live tweeting is really adding. Again, if I’m head down in my laptop or on my phone, posting to Twitter every darn thing the speaker is saying, am I really absorbing the information? Am I actively participating or passively documenting? And to what end? Are your followers deriving value from your stream or are they tuning you out till the conference is over? Are real conversations happening and if so, are you paying more attention to the online stream or what’s going on in front of you?

Other than maybe taking a photo or two or documenting something funny or compelling that happens in a session, I tend to keep my in-session tweeting to a minimum. Not everyone cares about ROI on social media, so I don’t feel that filling my stream with strange, out of context quotes adds value. If I really want to talk about what I’m learning, I’ll blog about it that night. But live tweeting? Not for me, thanks.

Reach out and touch someone. I don’t go to a ton of conferences, but the ones I do go to tend to be the unconferency, grass rootsy type of affairs. I like the format and the flexibility and the fact that I can wear jeans and a sweater and a ponytail. I like The Law of Two Feet. I like that it’s totally inclusive. I like that I can just sit on the floor in the hallway with a group of people and experience and learn and get excited about things as easily as I can inside of a formal session.

Gathering at events like conferences is about BEING 100% THERE. It’s not about bragging to all your followers how you’re hanging out with the popular kids. It’s not about waltzing around telling everyone what an expert you are. It’s about coming together with other like minded, talented, passionate, and genuine people and building friendships and business relationships and yah, you know what? Sometimes, it’s a little bit of sitting in a circle singing Kumbaya too. And I’m totally down with that. Because it’s about being together, live, in person – connecting. And at the end of this weekend I intend to have some fresh ideas, some new friends, and a renewed sense of passion for this work I do. That’s why I go. That’s why you should too.

Podcamp Montreal 2009
September 19th and 20th
UQAM Design Centre
1440 rue Sanguinet
Montreal, QC

See you there

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Every time I go to a Podcamp, I come away with so many new things to think about and explore. Yesterday’s Podcamp Ottawa was no exception. Our group was smaller than most Podcamp groups (about 30 I think), but the discussion was compelling. I always have one big takeaway from the day. Yesterday’s take away was a pretty big one for me.

We talked about all sorts of things, from building relationships to writing books to the dreaded “M” word…monetization.

I get a bit persnickety when people start talking about monetization. I tend to lose my usual cheerful nature a bit. It’s not because I’m against monetization. I am an entrepreneur, after all…I do like to make money. What gets my knickers in a knot is the attitude that anyone can make quick buck shilling social media. I had several discussions with other Podcampers yesterday about this. And here’s what I’ve concluded.

Social media is not a product that can be sold.

I know I might be stating the obvious here, but I really do feel as if there’s a lot of misconception out there about how social media is actually making people REAL money. Sure, some people have super popular blogs and podcasts and tons of advertisers and yes they are carving out a decent living. But in my estimation, those people are the exception, not the rule. And frankly, I’m not the least bit interested in making a pile of money off just blogging or just having a podcast. To me, it just seems like too much work to make any real money at it. So what’s the secret? I think it’s this:

Share Share Share Share and then Share Some More
Jeff Parks from I.A. Consultants has a great business philosophy…”Share everything”. What he means is, if you find a place where you can provide value, then just provide that value. Seize the opportunities that come your way through the relationships you built, even if it means no immediate monetary benefit. Jeff, in his session yesterday morning at Podcamp, talked about how he gets invited to various conferences so he can interview the big thinkers in his industry (information architecture and user experience design) and produce podcasts, and how he doesn’t make a penny doing it.

So why does he do it? Because he gets the opportunity to travel around to various conferences and interview the big thinkers in his industry. He gets to spend time with people he may not otherwise ever get to meet. He gets to learn and grow and get better at what he does for a living, so when he gets back to his office he is in a better position to succeed with the money-paying clients he does have. The experience he is gaining, the relationships he’s building by attending these conferences and talking to these people far outweigh any monetary compensation he could get for doing the same.

Social Media’s Secret Sauce
My point is, social media is extraordinarily powerful when it’s used in the right way. Social media, as a tool, allows people to build relationships, share information, and succeed. We all know that. But are we actually doing it? I appreciate that over the past several months I have started to build a larger and larger audience on this blog. I said yesterday during one of the sessions that I have no intention of making any money off my blog, and that’s true. Why? Because I don’t think the amount of work I’d have to do to make any REAL money (I mean mortgage-paying money, not beer money) would be worth it. What IS worth it to me is the connections I’m able to make by blogging, being on Twitter, and going to meet ups and Podcamps (yes, I believe that these latter, in-person human contact events are social media tools as well) are far more valuable than making a quick buck off what I’m doing in these places. Sharing my thoughts with you here costs me nothing. You indulge me, and for that I am infinitely grateful.

Sharing ideas is social media’s secret sauce. The truth is, you don’t make money off of sharing ideas. You don’t make money off of social media. Social media is just the vehicle by which you are able to share. You make money off of the opportunities that arise out of that sharing.

What do you think? Am I way off base on this? What’s in your secret sauce?

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I know lot of women who are truly geeky, very technology savvy and aware. I have met some online, and some at various meetups around town. But my experience in general with the online communities I’m involved with (mostly web technology, social media and business) is that it is still a very male-dominated area. Most of my Twitter friends are male. Most of the people at the technology meetups and PodCamps I’ve attended are male.

For a long time I’ve wanted to create something that appeals directly to women who are interested in this space. A place where women are encouraged to make a contribution to the community and embrace the power of the Web, technology and social media.

Several weeks ago my good friend Sheri and I were sitting on a sunny patio and we came up with idea to do The GeekGrls Podcast. We are both super-geeky in our own right, and though it would be fun to share some of that geekiness with the world. The show is by women, for women, about the things that women care about when it comes to technology. We’ve posted our first show at www.geekgrls.com. On this show we talk about our vision for the show and a bit about ourselves.

I encourage you to go and subscribe for free, Episode 1 will be available next week. We really want to encourage participation in the show, so if you have suggestions for topics or guests, ideas or just want to drop us a line, we’d really appreciate it.

And even though the show is presented from a female perspective… you boys are allowed too!

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