There are still a lot of skeptics out there when it comes to trusting other people online. I speak with people all the time who are not involved in online communities. I ask them why they haven’t gotten involved. I get a lot of answers, but perhaps the most interesting response I get is that they don’t trust what they read in the social media space. In other words, they don’t believe that people are being genuine. 

This causes some concern to me, especially since I tend to find the opposite to be true. In my 2 + years of being involved in social media, I have only come across only a very few people who were truly misrepresenting themselves. 

I find it interesting that people have no problem meeting other people at a business meeting, a bar, a conference, or on the street and trusting those people right away. But take away the physical presence, and the story is entirely different. What is it about meeting people online that makes people trust less? It seemsthat if I can’t see you in 3-D, shake your hand, breathe the same air as you, then I can’t trust you. The truth is, I’ve met a lot more people face to face in my life that that I don’t trust than people I’ve met only on the Web. Some people who I’ve known only in person have been capable of great deception and misrepresentation – more than anyone I’ve come across online to this point. 

In fact, I actually think that meeting someone online actually gives me MORE reason to trust them. Why? Because online, people (the trustworthy ones) tend to exist in more than one place. That makes it much easier for me to verify their story.

Case in point: If I meet someone at a restaurant and they give me their business card,  I only have a very little information about them. Their name, their place of employment, their email address. Fact is, I don’t even REALLY know if the card they have given me is theirs (unless their photo is on it – rare). Sure, I can Google them when I get home, but what if their name is John Smith and they work for a giant corporation? Not so easy. 

However, if I meet someone on Twitter, I have multiple ways of verifying their story. I can see how many followers they have. I can ask some of those followers to back up the person’s story. I can check out the person’s blog, see who is linking to it. I can look at where they say they work. I can see pictures of them. Check their LinkedIN profile, their Facebook profile. I can get a pretty good picture in a very short amount of time from someone who has a reasonably broad online presence. I can feel as if I know something about them, have a sense of their honesty and then make a decision on whether or not they are authentic. 

The key to online authenticity is to have a certain level of saturation through many social networks. Here are some ways you can do that:

1. Don’t just exist on Facebook. Get your name out on other social networks, such as Twitter, LinkedIN, Plurk, identi.ca.
2. Consider starting a blog. Don’t have the time? Try Tumblr instead. 
3. Make comments on a variety of blogs. Be authentic when sharing your opinion in these spaces.
4. Be open to people getting in touch with you via email or on your cell phone.

No matter what, always be 100% authentic in your interactions. Don’t falsefy or exagerrate facts about yourself. Don’t want to share your marital or employment status online? Instead of fibbing about it, just don’t say anything. You absolutely have the right to share only that information you are comfortable sharing. 

In the end, it’s up to each of us to judge whether we find someone to be authentic or not, in person or online. If you are unsure of who to trust, the best thing you can do is get involved in the community and begin to listen to the conversations going on around you. You will figure out soon enough who you feel is trustworthy. And anyone who isn’t? That’s what the “Block” button is for.

What do you think? Is authenticity more of an issue online or in person?

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I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts and tweets lately about people being averse to “tooting their own horn”. And I’m not sure I really understand the aversion.

Ok, I know there are lots of spammers out there. I know there are certain types of people that seem to do nothing but shamelessly self-promote their wares. But I think that they are really in the minority.

The blogosphere, the Twitterverse, the Plurk Nation – they are all run by people. People who have something to say. People who want to have conversations, make connections, establish relationships. If we aren’t all out here “tooting”, then what are we doing?

When I update my blog, or my Twitter feed, or my Facebook page, am I not, in some way, promoting myself? Even if I am just saying what I’m up to right now, or I’m replying to someone, or commenting…that’s all promotion of myself, my ideas, my sense of humour…what have you.

I agree that there are good ways and bad ways to toot your horn. Here are a few things that I’ve learned about what I like to call “The Art of Shameless Self-Promotion”.

Admit it.
Louis Gray writes about disclosure and transparency on his blog. So does Chris Brogan. It’s pretty essential and important to consider. Sneaky tricks to promote your stuff are just that…sneaky. So, if you are going to shamelessly self promote, at least admit it! I’ve sent emails to colleagues and friends entitled “Shameless Self Promotion”. Even if they delete the email, at least maybe I’ve got their attention for a second and made them snicker. (Note that I said “friends and colleagues”. I don’t recommend sending these kinds of emails to people that you don’t have an existing, pretty solid relationship with. Make sure the people on your list have a sense of humour about this stuff.)

Be Subtle.
This may seem to be a contradiction to my last point, but it’s not, really. Self Promotion done well is a balance of putting it out there, but doing it in such a way that you are not putting people off. It’s kind of akin to giving someone a gentle tap on the shoulder to get their attention and grabbing them from behind in a giant bear hug. The gentle tapper says “I’m here, if you want see what I’m about”. The bear hugger says “Here I am! Here I am! No, right here! Pay attention to MEEEEE!” See the difference? So go ahead. Self promote, using all your channels, like Twitter, your blog, Facebook, FriendFeed, LinkedIN. Just make sure you aren’t too “in your face” about it.

Gauge Yourself.
Not sure if you are being too overbearing? Well for starters, if you are, people will let you know pretty quickly. Usually they will just start ignoring you, or blocking themselves from your line of fire. What it comes down to is common sense. Does it make sense to send out an unsolicited email to everyone on your contact list and all your Facebook friends and all your Twitter followers about your latest blog post? Of course not. Does it make sense to do a quick post to Twitter, and maybe a link on your Facebook profile? Sure. Why? Because the latter method is non-intrusive. It gives people a choice if they want to buy in to your self-promoting ways. And if they don’t? So be it. At least you’ve put the word out.

The #1 Way to Shamelessly (and subtly) Self Promote
I am surprised all the time by the new people that come across my blog. And you know the #1 way people find me? Through comments I make on other people’s blogs. Yup. Not through my Tweets, not through my Facebook, LinkedIN or anything else. I comment on people’s blogs. Probably 5 to 10 a day. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying go out and put inane comments on a bunch of blogs to get your name out there. What I AM saying is go out there and make a contribution to the community. Get involved in the conversation. Express yourself. If you do this with integrity, people will visit you because they are interested in what you have to offer. This is the give and take game of social media. And when you play it right, the rewards will be real and fulfilling.

So go ahead – toot your own horn!

Photo credit: Fiskfisk on Flickr.

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