There’s an unusual trend happening in my life right now, in terms of how I’m connecting with people. I’m doing a lot of “offline” stuff. Perhaps it’s just the nature of my schedule of late, perhaps it’s intentional, perhaps it’s fate…but I am finding some great richness in the interactions I’m having with the non-geeks in my life.

For instance, thanks to my offline friend Ray, I am now on the Board of Directors of a fantastic local organization called SAW Video Co-op. SAW is a place where local video artists have access to resources, training and equipment to produce their own independent videos. It’s a super vibrant community. Yes, you can draw some parallels between video geeks (of which I am one) and Internet geeks (of which I am also one), but essentially this is an offline experience for me. I’m participating in in-person meetings. The events I’ll be attending are happening in a self-contained way – people are physically present, unlike a Tweetathon, a webinar, or a Twestival. Some might argue that an organization like SAW could benefit from some of these online experiences, but that’s another post altogether.

Another example of connecting in the offline world occurred last night at my Dad’s 71st birthday party. Other than the fact that my Mom sent an email to us kids to inform us of the time and date of the gathering, the event took place offline. My brother and SIL, my two nephews were there. So were my parents’ close friends, who we consider our aunts and uncles. Everyone was talking all at the same time. We ate birthday pie, and cheescake, and drank vanilla coffee. The kids ran around. I built a Lego house out of the same Lego set we had when I was a kid. My Dad told stories. My Mom giggled in the kitchen with my aunts. We were all there, and present.

We spend so much time cultivating our online relationships that sometimes we forget that there is a whole world out there that is not so dependent on connectivity. My parents, and aunts and uncles, though they sometimes use the Internet, don’t RELY on it for their daily interactions. They still pick up the phone. They even mail letters and cards and stuff once in a while. They spend time together, in the same physical space, if they want to connect with friends.

Connecting with others online over the past few years has been a life altering event for me. I’ve become close friends with people I’d have otherwise never met. I’ve gotten phenomenal new business opportunities. My life has definitely been enriched by my experience, and the Web will undoubtedly continue to play a major role in my life.

However, I am really beginning to appreciate my offline life a lot more. It operates at a much slower pace. It doesn’t require the same kind of immediacy, because people are just more relaxed when they are facing each other. Nothing is left to the imagination when you can see someone’s body language and facial expressions. You get the whole conversation, because you are seeing, and listening, and touching, and ultimately understanding a lot more.

I’m not just talking about moving your online world to your offline. We are being conferenced to death right now – there’s all of these events we can go to where we can meet each other in the flesh. That works well for some, and it’s fine. But look around you. Remember those people you knew before the Internet? They are still there. Pick up the phone. Go knock on their door. Have that experience too.

And, if you are still unsure about the power of connecting in the physical world, watch Matt. Now that’s how you bring people together.

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how work has changed over the past several years. When I was growing up in the 1980′s, society was still in the mindset that “setting yourself up for success” meant graduating from high school, going to university to get a degree, then finding a good, stable, secure full time job with regular hours and good benefits. Worse, women were still (yes, even in the 80′s) expected to finish school, work for a while, find a husband, put their career on hold, have a bunch of kids, then try to “reintegrate” to the workforce after 10 or 12 years.

If that was the secret to success, then I suppose I’ve failed miserably.

OK, I did graduate high school. But I decided on community college instead of university, since they couldn’t teach me how to make TV shows at university. I got a job after college, but the pay was crappy, the benefits were just okay, and the hours were anything but regular. During those early days of my career, the elusive husband I was supposed to nab was nowhere to be found. In fact, I would wait till I was 34 years old to finally tie the knot (Does that make me an old maid?). As for having a bunch of babies, well, I look around me and nope – don’t see any babies. Therefore, no reason to put said career on hold, I guess.

The one area where I suppose I did succeed (in the 80′s definition of success) is that after my first job, I came to my senses. I proceeded to have a string of jobs that were 9-5, Monday to Friday, corporate grind type jobs, with good pay and good benefits. Naturally, the rebel in me wanted nothing more than to bust out of that grind and do my own thing. As time went on, I came to a very profound realization.

I really do believe that the way people look at work is changing. The lines between what is considered “work” and what is considered “outside interests” are blurring.

***THIS JUST IN***

As I was writing this, I came across this morning’s video post by Chris Brogan on work vs. play. I just want to be clear – what I’m referring to here is not really work vs. play. I think work vs. play is different than work vs. outside interests. First, go watch his video, because Chris is a smarty pants and he makes a really great point. Then come back and I’ll explain myself.

You’re back. Good! :-)

When I was doing the corporate grind thing, I worked hard and cared about the work I was doing (most of the time), even enjoyed it (some of the time), but there was a definite line between my “job” and my “outside interests”. In fact, I worked really hard to keep my personal interests personal and my work stuff at work. I thought that work/life balance was all about that separation. I’ve realized that this was a serious error in my thinking.

Perhaps things are different now because I work for myself. I’m no longer held to a particular schedule, I get to choose the projects I work on, and I have had the freedom to choose and to be able to nurture relationships with people that are based on both friendship and professional ties. But what I’ve noticed, over the past several months, is that my To Do list contains a lot of crossover between what one would consider “personal interest” and what is “work”.

For all the hours and hours of work I do on paying gigs, I’m finding that I’m doing more and more work on things that don’t pay. Just in the past few weeks, I’ve helped shoot a music video, helped to edit some protest/awareness videos, and agreed to help produce a new technology podcast. I’ve talked with friends about playing music more, perhaps at open stages, maybe even a gig someday. I’ve also written a pile of blog posts. All of these things are work to me. Sure, they don’t have a monetary payoff, but who says that work has to bring in money all the time? Isn’t it possible that some work can be done for the pure experience and enjoyment?

I also lump networking into this mix. Back when I was working for other companies, I used to get paid to go to networking events, conferences and meetings. Now that I’m self-employed, I don’t really get paid to go out to meetups, meet people for coffee, or attend Social Media Breakfasts. But I do it anyway. It’s right there, on my To Do list. It’s part of work – a very important part.

The truth is, what constitutes “work” for me really has changed. I’m no longer bound by “I must do THIS so I can get paid THIS.” I guess that is what makes what I do for a living so much fun. At times, I think my work IS play. And vice versa, I suppose!

Sure, in the old-time definition of having a successful career, I guess I really have not “made it”. But what I have done is carved my own path to success. It’s been hard work; I’d even say harder work than the old fashioned way of doing things. But I definitely wouldn’t have it any other way.

How has work changed for you?

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There’s something about a name.

Tonight, I went down to the local Shawarma joint (Mr. Shawarma, for any Ottawa west-enders looking for the best meal in the ‘hood). I am quite a regular there, stopping in probably once or twice a week – it’s my default meal when hubby is working.

The same man is almost always behind the counter; I think he is the owner. His face lights up when I walk in the door, and it’s not just me – he absolutely beams at every customer that comes in. As he prepares your meal, he always asks how you are doing, makes conversation. Not only is the food great, but this man’s personality just makes you want to keep coming back.

One thing is kind of strange though. I have been going there upwards of 3 years now, and I have never known the man’s name. To me, he’s simply “the smiling guy at Mr. Shawarma”. It has never really even occurred to me what his name is or could be.

Tonight, I walked in, and there he was – beaming from behind the counter as always, as if I had just totally made his day by stepping in the door. “Good evening, my friend!!!”, he said. And then I saw it.

He was wearing a name tag. And suddenly things changed.

Until you know someone’s name, they are just a face. A guy behind a counter. A woman crossing the street. A man sitting next to you at a conference. But once you know their name, your relationship with them changes. Once you know someone’s name, you can introduce them to others, file them in your contacts list, and associate them with particular experiences. Once you know their name, you can really start to relate to them.

Until tonight, the guy at the Shawarma shop was another face. But now, I know that his name is Moustafa. He’s no longer “the smiling guy” to me. He’s “smiling Moustafa”. I feel like somehow I know him better, just because I know his name.

What I’ve realized, is that he still does not know my name. I fully intend to rectify that the next time I drop in.

The people that you see and interact with on a day to day basis – the postman, the newspaper carrier, the pizza delivery guy – do you know their names? We all interact with so many people online, know so much about who they are and what they do. But do you know the name of the woman who sells you lottery tickets at the corner store? Do you know your neighbours’ names? And if you don’t – why not?

I’ve realized that I am guilty of this too. So from here on in, I’m going to make a point of not only expanding my network and my community online, but looking around at the people right next to me, and finding out how I can engage them too.

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