There are many different ways we create spaces. There’s making emotional space, for your friends, your family, or that special someone. There’s physical space, as in the space you create for your home or your working environment. There’s the relationship between space and time, where you need to carve out the pieces and chunks of how you’re going to spend your time, and how much space you’re going to allot for all of the various things in your life.

We can’t survive (at least not comfortably) without striking a balance between all of our different spaces. Spaces are critical to our success as human beings.

Think about how you arrange the spaces around you. It might be the way your bedroom is set up to be most conducive to restful sleep. It may be how your desk is arranged so you are most productive. Everyone has different preferences.

For example, my desk is neat and organized, so I don’t often spend a lot of time searching for things. It’s a space that allows me to get things done. On the other hand, my car is messy beyond belief – but it is merely a tool that I use to get around, usually in a hurry, so for me, it doesn’t have to be organized. It’s a space that moves me from space to space.

How does this relate to online experiences? Well this is where spaces get really interesting. In the online world, it’s all about spaces. I have a space on Facebook, a space on Twitter, a space on this blog. I’m filling my spaces all the time with my thoughts, opinions, conversations, and questions. I’m being helped, and helping others inside of my space and inside of their spaces. In fact, the entire Web is just a series of spaces, all linked together. That’s fundamentally what makes it all work – spaces.

So you’ve got all these spaces, now what? Well, consider it like you’d consider your home. Some spaces are functional, like the kitchen. Some are beautiful, like your garden. Others are social, like your family room. But, it’s totally up to you how you use your spaces. Take Newfoundland, for instance – there, kitchens are functional, but they are also extremely social.

There are lots of social media “experts” out here who will try to tell you that Facebook MUST be used for socializing. LinkedIN MUST be used for functional, practical business stuff. Twitter is just fluff. Lots of people want to try and tell us how to use our spaces. Whatever you do, don’t listen to them. They are missing the point.

We are all responsible for creating our own spaces out here. We fill our spaces with the things we are interested in, are passionate about, things that are concrete…or sometimes we just fill them in with fun, silly stuff. Most of the time it’s a combination of those things. But the really cool part happens when we begin to let others into our spaces.

There’s abundant possibility in shared spaces. And this world out here, on the Web, is all about shared spaces.

So…what kind of space are you going to create?

Back in civilization, and back to my iMac, my 3G network, my Twitter, my blog. Don’t get me wrong – I had a wonderful Christmas, spending time with my in-laws in frozen, but beautiful Manitoba. We ate, and talked, and ate, and played cards, and ate, and opened gifts, and ate some more. It was all the best things about Christmas rolled up into one terrific week.

But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss my beautiful, wonderful technology.

My husband’s family lives in a very, very small town 100km north of Winnipeg called Arborg. With a population of about 1000, scarce Internet, no cell phone service (at least not on your average iPhone) and a winter climate that brings back not-so-fond memories of my days in living in the Arctic, you’d think that a city girl like me would have run screaming out of there as fast as I could.

Of course, that didn’t happen, mostly because I’m really a small town girl at heart. Having grown up in a town not unlike Arborg, I am very at home in this kind of environment.

Ironically, during the 5 unplugged days I spent in Arborg, I learned a great deal about how social networks operate. Here’s what I learned:

Leadership is Vital
Every community necessarily has its leaders. The leaders are the people who blaze the trail for everyone else, and fight the tigers along the way. They are the ones who are infinitely helpful and kind and generous, even though it takes up a lot of their time and energy.

In Arborg, one of those leaders is my Father-in-law. He’s not the Mayor of the town, but from what I’ve seen, he probably could be. My Father-in-law is a waste management specialist. He runs a septic truck, which keeps him busy enough, but also is in charge of all the garbage collection for the town. That means at least once a week, he goes to everyone’s house and business in the whole town. And while he’s running around town, sucking tanks and disposing of everyone’s smelly garbage, they all talk to him, which means he probably knows more about what’s going on in Arborg than anyone else.

He’s a leader because he’s totally tapped into the network. Every day he comes home with a hundred stories about what’s been happening around town. Not only that, but he’s infinitely helpful. The day we arrived, he was off with another guy, delivering Christmas turkeys to underprivileged townspeople. During Christmas dinner, he took a call from someone having septic problems without batting an eye. He told them he’d get out to them as soon as possible the next day. He’s a good leader because he listens, and understands the needs of the people in his town. And then he helps in any way he can.

Here’s something to consider – what kind of leader are you being in your social networks? If you’re like my Father-in-law, you’re listening, understanding and helping. And then you’re doing it some more.

The Network is Thriving
I saw a bulletin board in the little motel we were staying at, and it was jammed with business cards. This board is Arborg’s social network.

There is a business card for just about every business in town on this little board. Hairdressers, insurance companies, home heating, jewellery, carpentry, you name it…it’s there. There’s no computer. No LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter. Just cards, tacks and cork.

In a town like Arborg, this really is the way they network. This is how they show each other what they do, and provide a way to get in touch. It’s a means of communication and connection and I suspect, even collaboration.

Here’s the thing – notice how each card is the same size. Nobody’s card is covering up anyone else’s card. They are all sharing the space equally.

One of the things I love about social media is that it levels the playing field. In this space, it doesn’t matter if you are an average Joe or a billionaire. Nobody cares if you are a rock star or a karaoke singer. Whether you are a famous comedian or just like to have a good laugh, you are welcome here. We are all sharing this space on equal terms. Much like the bulletin board network in Arborg, we are all able to contribute and show value to others. And together, we’re all able to succeed.

My point is – social networks have existed as far back as we can imagine. Today, we are fortunate to have this new, amazing layer of technology to help us scale it from our tiny communities to the entire world. This global scale means that we hold a great deal potential in our hands. We now have the power to do great things not only for the success of our communities, but ultimately for the success of humankind.

Having this amount power a the click of a mouse is huge. But, it doesn’t mean we have to act any differently or be anything else other than what we already are as human beings. Success in a small town not dependent on the latest tools, tricks, or techy toys, and success in social media is not any different. Like in small towns, it’s only really dependent on two things – strong leadership and a thriving network.

As 2008 comes to a close, and so many of us are eagerly anticipating all the amazing possibilities that the new year will bring, considering how we are operating in our social networks and where all this social media stuff is headed is vitally important to our progress.

What do you think the next step is?

Less Stuff. I love giving people presents. However, I have always found the process of Christmas shopping to be quite stressful. I hate malls. I hate big box stores. I find other shoppers to be exceptionally rude in a lot of cases, which is ironic, given that we’re supposed to be all peace, love and happiness this time of year. I hate the fact that we are so consumed with the “stuff” of Christmas. Everyone is rushing around, spending all kinds of money they don’t have, because they feel some sense of obligation to be the one to get the biggest, best stuff. It makes me not want to bother with Christmas at all.

This year, I’m changing my tactic. First, I’m only going to buy targeted, specific gifts for people. Instead of buying each person 3 to 5 things that they won’t even remember in 3 weeks’ time, I’m going to get each person one, maybe two things that are really special, that I know they will enjoy. Second, I’m doing the bulk of my shopping online. This allows me to do two things – I don’t have to go to a mall and end up hostile and grumpy. I also find I am more strategic in my spending when I do it online. With these simple changes, I can take pleasure in giving again. This way, it’s not about the amount of stuff people are getting. It’s about the process of giving.

Enjoy the Simple Things. In fact, we are not going to be in Winnipeg proper for the holidays – we’re going to be in a town about an hour outside the city, with a population of 965. Yup. 965 people. My in-laws don’t have the Internet (gasp.) I am reasonably sure there is no Internet cafe or free wifi to be found in the town. What does this mean for me? No blogs. No Twitter. No Facebook, LinkedIn, or Instant Messaging. Oh, and did I mention no Twitter?

This too, is an opportunity. Between work and play time, I probably spend upwards of 7-9 hours online every day. Without the Internet as an option, I know already what I’m going to do. I’m going to relax. Read some books. Do some personal writing (like, in an actual notebook, with a pen). Listen to music. Sit with a cup of hot tea and stare out at the cold, windy Manitoba terrain and be thankful for the blessed life I have.

It’s Not Just One Day. Christmas is December 25th, but really, it’s just a day. As soon as I start to get a bit sniffly about the fact that I’m not going to spend that day with my parents and brother this year, I remember that we get to have two Christmases this year. When hubby and I get back from Winnipeg we will be having Christmas with my family. Just like always, except it will be a different day. I’ll still get to see my nephews’ excited faces when they open their gifts. I’ll still get to hug and kiss everyone and smile and feel good to be around them.

I feel as if the world has gotten so caught up in the commercialism of Christmas that we’ve really forgotten what this time of year is supposed to be about. It’s about taking a pause from our hectic lives, slowing down for a while and getting centred again on what is most important…our family and friends. It’s about reflecting on the year that’s been and what we have to look forward to in 2009. It’s about hope, and happy thoughts, and enjoying your life.

How are you planning to spend the holidays? What is most important to you this time of year? I’d love to hear your stories in the comments.

Photo by Across and Down on Flickr.

This causes some concern to me, especially since I tend to find the opposite to be true. In my 2 + years of being involved in social media, I have only come across only a very few people who were truly misrepresenting themselves. 

I find it interesting that people have no problem meeting other people at a business meeting, a bar, a conference, or on the street and trusting those people right away. But take away the physical presence, and the story is entirely different. What is it about meeting people online that makes people trust less? It seemsthat if I can’t see you in 3-D, shake your hand, breathe the same air as you, then I can’t trust you. The truth is, I’ve met a lot more people face to face in my life that that I don’t trust than people I’ve met only on the Web. Some people who I’ve known only in person have been capable of great deception and misrepresentation – more than anyone I’ve come across online to this point. 

In fact, I actually think that meeting someone online actually gives me MORE reason to trust them. Why? Because online, people (the trustworthy ones) tend to exist in more than one place. That makes it much easier for me to verify their story.

Case in point: If I meet someone at a restaurant and they give me their business card,  I only have a very little information about them. Their name, their place of employment, their email address. Fact is, I don’t even REALLY know if the card they have given me is theirs (unless their photo is on it – rare). Sure, I can Google them when I get home, but what if their name is John Smith and they work for a giant corporation? Not so easy. 

However, if I meet someone on Twitter, I have multiple ways of verifying their story. I can see how many followers they have. I can ask some of those followers to back up the person’s story. I can check out the person’s blog, see who is linking to it. I can look at where they say they work. I can see pictures of them. Check their LinkedIN profile, their Facebook profile. I can get a pretty good picture in a very short amount of time from someone who has a reasonably broad online presence. I can feel as if I know something about them, have a sense of their honesty and then make a decision on whether or not they are authentic. 

The key to online authenticity is to have a certain level of saturation through many social networks. Here are some ways you can do that:

1. Don’t just exist on Facebook. Get your name out on other social networks, such as Twitter, LinkedIN, Plurk, identi.ca.
2. Consider starting a blog. Don’t have the time? Try Tumblr instead. 
3. Make comments on a variety of blogs. Be authentic when sharing your opinion in these spaces.
4. Be open to people getting in touch with you via email or on your cell phone.

No matter what, always be 100% authentic in your interactions. Don’t falsefy or exagerrate facts about yourself. Don’t want to share your marital or employment status online? Instead of fibbing about it, just don’t say anything. You absolutely have the right to share only that information you are comfortable sharing. 

In the end, it’s up to each of us to judge whether we find someone to be authentic or not, in person or online. If you are unsure of who to trust, the best thing you can do is get involved in the community and begin to listen to the conversations going on around you. You will figure out soon enough who you feel is trustworthy. And anyone who isn’t? That’s what the “Block” button is for.

What do you think? Is authenticity more of an issue online or in person?

Ok, I know there are lots of spammers out there. I know there are certain types of people that seem to do nothing but shamelessly self-promote their wares. But I think that they are really in the minority.

The blogosphere, the Twitterverse, the Plurk Nation – they are all run by people. People who have something to say. People who want to have conversations, make connections, establish relationships. If we aren’t all out here “tooting”, then what are we doing?

When I update my blog, or my Twitter feed, or my Facebook page, am I not, in some way, promoting myself? Even if I am just saying what I’m up to right now, or I’m replying to someone, or commenting…that’s all promotion of myself, my ideas, my sense of humour…what have you.

I agree that there are good ways and bad ways to toot your horn. Here are a few things that I’ve learned about what I like to call “The Art of Shameless Self-Promotion”.

Admit it.
Louis Gray writes about disclosure and transparency on his blog. So does Chris Brogan. It’s pretty essential and important to consider. Sneaky tricks to promote your stuff are just that…sneaky. So, if you are going to shamelessly self promote, at least admit it! I’ve sent emails to colleagues and friends entitled “Shameless Self Promotion”. Even if they delete the email, at least maybe I’ve got their attention for a second and made them snicker. (Note that I said “friends and colleagues”. I don’t recommend sending these kinds of emails to people that you don’t have an existing, pretty solid relationship with. Make sure the people on your list have a sense of humour about this stuff.)

Be Subtle.
This may seem to be a contradiction to my last point, but it’s not, really. Self Promotion done well is a balance of putting it out there, but doing it in such a way that you are not putting people off. It’s kind of akin to giving someone a gentle tap on the shoulder to get their attention and grabbing them from behind in a giant bear hug. The gentle tapper says “I’m here, if you want see what I’m about”. The bear hugger says “Here I am! Here I am! No, right here! Pay attention to MEEEEE!” See the difference? So go ahead. Self promote, using all your channels, like Twitter, your blog, Facebook, FriendFeed, LinkedIN. Just make sure you aren’t too “in your face” about it.

Gauge Yourself.
Not sure if you are being too overbearing? Well for starters, if you are, people will let you know pretty quickly. Usually they will just start ignoring you, or blocking themselves from your line of fire. What it comes down to is common sense. Does it make sense to send out an unsolicited email to everyone on your contact list and all your Facebook friends and all your Twitter followers about your latest blog post? Of course not. Does it make sense to do a quick post to Twitter, and maybe a link on your Facebook profile? Sure. Why? Because the latter method is non-intrusive. It gives people a choice if they want to buy in to your self-promoting ways. And if they don’t? So be it. At least you’ve put the word out.

The #1 Way to Shamelessly (and subtly) Self Promote
I am surprised all the time by the new people that come across my blog. And you know the #1 way people find me? Through comments I make on other people’s blogs. Yup. Not through my Tweets, not through my Facebook, LinkedIN or anything else. I comment on people’s blogs. Probably 5 to 10 a day. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying go out and put inane comments on a bunch of blogs to get your name out there. What I AM saying is go out there and make a contribution to the community. Get involved in the conversation. Express yourself. If you do this with integrity, people will visit you because they are interested in what you have to offer. This is the give and take game of social media. And when you play it right, the rewards will be real and fulfilling.

So go ahead – toot your own horn!

Photo credit: Fiskfisk on Flickr.

Along with this shift has come a shift in the way that people use the Internet. For example, online media and communications wizard Jeff Pulver talks here about how he uses Facebook as a business communication tool. Lots of people, like Collective Thoughts’ Brian Wallace are talking about why Twitter is so important to the new Web.

A year or so ago, my Internet experience was as follows. My home page was the Google Home page, in which I had customized widgets for reading the CBC News, my horoscope, TechCrunch, Wired Magazine and a few others I can’t remember. If I wanted to find information on something I went to Wikipedia. I chatted with people using Windows Messenger and Google Chat. If I was bored I hit the StumbleUpon button a lot and looked at some LOLcats and cute puppy pictures.

Today, my surfing experience is entirely different. My home page is Google Reader and I follow over a hundred blogs and I comment on several blogs a week. I write my own blog and people read it and comment often. I follow and connect with people on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pownce and FriendFeed, and I share lots of bookmarks in del.icio.us and lots of photos on Flickr.

Notice the words I used to describe my surfing habits a year ago. Reading, finding, looking, bored. Notice the words I used for today’s version of surfing. Following, commenting, connecting, writing, sharing. Which do YOU think sounds more fun and worthwhile?