Social networks are fascinating. They are made up of all kinds of people, from all walks of life, brought together out of a shared interest or interests, into a big pot of text, audio and video soup. Sure, there are plenty of people who have become good friends on the Internet…fallen in love, even. Heck, I met my husband online! So I know that it IS a great way to meet and foster important relationships with other people.

But those aren’t the relationships I’m speaking of. I’m talking about people who may share a common interest, but may not see it the same way. These are people that  would probably not socialize in person…they are too different. It’s those differences of opinion that keep the conversation interesting. It’s impassioned, intelligent people talking about things that matter most to them.

There are many techniques for expressing differences of opinion, and strategies for debating, even arguing effectively. Toastmasters comes to mind as an organization that promotes effective debating skills. I’ve been noticing lately that although some people are extremely skilled at debate, argument, opinions, whatever you want to call them (Leo Laporte and his TWIT crew come immediately to mind), others are maybe not so skilled. After reading endless posts and videoblogs about the Sarah Lacy interview, and then today coming across the Duncan Riley/FriendFeed posts, I realized that maybe some people are not quite so skilled at expressing an opinion and perhaps more importantly, listening to other people’s opinions. When this happens, it ends up becoming nothing more than a defensive bitchfest. It becomes about one group of people being right and another group being wrong. It becomes more than a debate…it becomes a conflict. The point is, debate and opinion are positive forces that contribute to the overall good experience of being involved in the social network. Conflict is a negative force that causes defensiveness, overactive egos and hurt feelings. In extreme cases, it causes wars.

I am the last person who wants to do anything to disrupt the free flow of opinion, debate and conversation that makes the social network so powerful. However I’d like to propose the following list, to serve as a set of guidelines for people who want to debate, share opinions and, even argue without getting mired in conflict.

Proposed Rules of Engagement for the Social Network

1. Respect the opinions of the community. You don’t have to agree with everyone, and nobody has to agree with you. Be OK with that.
2. Listen to what others have to say before getting defensive. Sometimes there’s a lesson in other people’s critiques.
3. Don’t call people names. It’s just cheap.
4. Everyone is good at something. Figure out what you are good at and don’t knock other people if they aren’t good at it too.
5. Be encouraging. Don’t discourage.
6. Pick your battles.
7. If someone is spreading mean or hateful messages about someone or something, it’s the responsibility of the community to try to stop them. Don’t tolerate hate.

I want to hear from you. Do you agree with this or disagree? Do you think it goes too far, or is it necessary in order to maintain the health of the community?

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It’s another ridiculously cold and snowy day in Ottawa. I was talking to a guy in Arizona the other day and where he was it was 82 degrees Fahrenheit (about 27 Celsius and yes, I had to convert that in the Google Calculator. I’m so metric.)

It’s completely unfair and I can’t wait for winter to be over. There’s part of me that would like to just wallow in self pity about it but my new enlightened point of view (thanks to “A New Earth“) has taught me that wallowing is never a good idea. So instead of dwelling on the crappy weather, I decided to stay inside and cook a pile of food for the freezer.

I headed out at about 7:30 this morning to hit the grocery store. Loblaws today was surprisingly busy considering it was so early and there was 15cm (almost 6 inches, yay Google!) of new snow on the ground. I was a woman on a mission. The recipes of the day? Cabbage rolls, vegetable soup, beef stew and cherry chip cupcakes. That oughta keep me out of self-pity mode for a while.

It’s 12:30 and I’m about half way through the process. I’ve decided to leave the stew till tomorrow and focused this morning on the soup and the cabbage rolls. This afternoon I’ll probably make the cupcakes, but they are easy. So I’ve managed to have a pretty productive day so far, I’ve got 50 cabbage rolls, a big pot of yummy, healthy soup and I’ve gotten caught up on some tech stuff too.

I thought then, I would share with you my perfect day indoors – complete with recipes!
As I was cooking I was listening to net@night with Amber MacArthur and Leo Laporte. The first show put me on to Friend Feed, which is kind of a cool tool that lets you tap in to friends’ internet travels via Twitter, Flickr, their blog, etc. And it also gave me more information about my new favourite video player, Viddler, which we are experimenting with at the office now for one of our TV series. More info on that to follow soon!

Now for the recipes. Thom Allen twittered me to ask what cabbage rolls were. I assumed everyone knew what cabbage rolls were! I think he is in Utah. Maybe they don’t have cabbage rolls in Utah? Well, here’s the recipe, so all you Utahns can be introduced to one of the most delicious and inexpensive to make foods EVER!

Suzemuse’s World Famous Cabbage Rolls
(makes about 50 – perfect for freezing!)

2 heads of green cabbage
3 lbs medium ground beef
1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
3/4 cup of Minute Rice
salt and pepper
6 cans condensed tomato soup
1 large can all-purpose tomato sauce

Fill a large stock pot with water, add some salt and bring to a boil. With a sharp knife, cut around the core of the cabbages so the leaves will loosen in the water. Carefully add the whole cabbages and cook for at least 20 minutes, or until the outer layers start to peel off. Meanwhile, mix the ground beef, onion, garlic, rice, salt, and pepper in a large bowl. Don’t be a wimp and use your hands for the best result.

Use tongs to peel off individual cabbage leaves and drain in a colander. Take one cabbage leaf and trim off the tough spine. Place about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of the beef mixture (a smallish handful) in the cabbage leaf and roll up, tucking the ends in as you go. Place the rolls in a large roasting pan.

After the first layer of rolls, cover with 3 cans of tomato soup and 1/2 of the can of tomato sauce. Repeat for second layer of rolls.

Bake in a 350 degrees oven for 1 hour and 40 minutes, or until the sauce is piping hot and bubbling.

Suzemuse’s Soon-To-Be-Famous Vegetable Soup
makes a whole pot! Also good for freezing!

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1 large carrot, diced
2 stalks of celery, diced
1/2 red or yellow pepper, diced
(you could use green peppers, but I HATE green peppers, so don’t tell me if you do!)
2 handfuls of frozen chopped spinach
1 can of red kidney beans
1/2 cup brown rice
2 cartons organic vegetable broth
a couple of sprigs of fresh thyme
salt and pepper to taste

In a large soup pot, sautee onion, carrot, celery, peppers and spinach in olive oil about 15 minutes, until tender. Add in the kidney beans, brown rice, thyme sprigs and broth. Simmer on med-low heat for about 45 minutes, until delicious. Add salt and pepper to taste.

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