I’ve been reading a lot of blog posts and tweets lately about people being averse to “tooting their own horn”. And I’m not sure I really understand the aversion.

Ok, I know there are lots of spammers out there. I know there are certain types of people that seem to do nothing but shamelessly self-promote their wares. But I think that they are really in the minority.

The blogosphere, the Twitterverse, the Plurk Nation – they are all run by people. People who have something to say. People who want to have conversations, make connections, establish relationships. If we aren’t all out here “tooting”, then what are we doing?

When I update my blog, or my Twitter feed, or my Facebook page, am I not, in some way, promoting myself? Even if I am just saying what I’m up to right now, or I’m replying to someone, or commenting…that’s all promotion of myself, my ideas, my sense of humour…what have you.

I agree that there are good ways and bad ways to toot your horn. Here are a few things that I’ve learned about what I like to call “The Art of Shameless Self-Promotion”.

Admit it.
Louis Gray writes about disclosure and transparency on his blog. So does Chris Brogan. It’s pretty essential and important to consider. Sneaky tricks to promote your stuff are just that…sneaky. So, if you are going to shamelessly self promote, at least admit it! I’ve sent emails to colleagues and friends entitled “Shameless Self Promotion”. Even if they delete the email, at least maybe I’ve got their attention for a second and made them snicker. (Note that I said “friends and colleagues”. I don’t recommend sending these kinds of emails to people that you don’t have an existing, pretty solid relationship with. Make sure the people on your list have a sense of humour about this stuff.)

Be Subtle.
This may seem to be a contradiction to my last point, but it’s not, really. Self Promotion done well is a balance of putting it out there, but doing it in such a way that you are not putting people off. It’s kind of akin to giving someone a gentle tap on the shoulder to get their attention and grabbing them from behind in a giant bear hug. The gentle tapper says “I’m here, if you want see what I’m about”. The bear hugger says “Here I am! Here I am! No, right here! Pay attention to MEEEEE!” See the difference? So go ahead. Self promote, using all your channels, like Twitter, your blog, Facebook, FriendFeed, LinkedIN. Just make sure you aren’t too “in your face” about it.

Gauge Yourself.
Not sure if you are being too overbearing? Well for starters, if you are, people will let you know pretty quickly. Usually they will just start ignoring you, or blocking themselves from your line of fire. What it comes down to is common sense. Does it make sense to send out an unsolicited email to everyone on your contact list and all your Facebook friends and all your Twitter followers about your latest blog post? Of course not. Does it make sense to do a quick post to Twitter, and maybe a link on your Facebook profile? Sure. Why? Because the latter method is non-intrusive. It gives people a choice if they want to buy in to your self-promoting ways. And if they don’t? So be it. At least you’ve put the word out.

The #1 Way to Shamelessly (and subtly) Self Promote
I am surprised all the time by the new people that come across my blog. And you know the #1 way people find me? Through comments I make on other people’s blogs. Yup. Not through my Tweets, not through my Facebook, LinkedIN or anything else. I comment on people’s blogs. Probably 5 to 10 a day. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying go out and put inane comments on a bunch of blogs to get your name out there. What I AM saying is go out there and make a contribution to the community. Get involved in the conversation. Express yourself. If you do this with integrity, people will visit you because they are interested in what you have to offer. This is the give and take game of social media. And when you play it right, the rewards will be real and fulfilling.

So go ahead – toot your own horn!

Photo credit: Fiskfisk on Flickr.

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There’s an interesting debate going on this morning over at FriendFeed. It appears that Robert Scoble has blocked one of his followers (I’m not going to name names, if you want to find out who it is, I invite you to seek it out yourself. Go ahead. Google to your heart’s content. I’ll wait).

You back? OK. Well it appears that some feelings have been hurt as a result of this “cyber-shunning”. Scoble is being called elitist.

Oh, come on, people.

If the biggest part of your day is hoping that some “A-list blogger” (a term, incidentally, coined by the media and fans, not the bloggers themselves) is going to give you the time of day by @replying you on Twitter or responding to your FriendFeed comment, then I’m afraid you’ve got this social media thing all wrong.

The popular bloggers (Vaynerchuk, Scoble, Brogan, Belmont, Laporte, and so on) give of themselves daily to inform, entertain and enlighten their audience. You may like them, you may not, you may be indifferent, but the fact is, they are people too and as much as their fans love to get their continuous undying attention, there are only so many hours in a day. I have personally engaged some of these folks in conversation on more than one occasion and I find them to be extremely approachable, friendly, and helpful – as long as I am respectful don’t over stay my welcome, and make a valuable contribution to the conversation, then I, in turn get to stay at the party.

Social media is about sharing, I agree. But ultimately, everyone has control over who they share their information with. I block people on Twitter and FriendFeed all the time, for various reasons. Maybe our interests aren’t compatible. Maybe they are spammers. Maybe they are offensive to me. Or perhaps I just don’t like their approach. At the end of the day, its up to me who I choose to engage with. And if I don’t engage with you – don’t take it personally.

We all have the right to shape our own social media experience. Nobody, including those with many fans and followers, is under ANY obligation to be “friends” with everyone. So Robert Scoble doesn’t want to be your friend? So be it. You can still read his blog, and comment, and participate on that level.

You don’t have to be invited to the A-list parties to have a good time in this space. In fact, you may have a better time forming your own communities, having your own conversations. Becoming your own “A-list” blogger. You may even get some fans. At the end of the day – respect others, and you will gain their respect. Be an active participant, but contribute value. The community will thank you for it.

Photo credit: Lightfoot from MorgueFile.

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I have been thinking over the past couple of days how much things have changed online in the past several months. Social networks have gone from early adoption stage to pretty mainstream, and now the early adopters of business are starting to really grab hold of social media as a way to enhance their online presence. Within the next little while, the business community at large is going to start to catch on in a big way and then it’s going to really get interesting.

Along with this shift has come a shift in the way that people use the Internet. For example, online media and communications wizard Jeff Pulver talks here about how he uses Facebook as a business communication tool. Lots of people, like Collective Thoughts’ Brian Wallace are talking about why Twitter is so important to the new Web.

A year or so ago, my Internet experience was as follows. My home page was the Google Home page, in which I had customized widgets for reading the CBC News, my horoscope, TechCrunch, Wired Magazine and a few others I can’t remember. If I wanted to find information on something I went to Wikipedia. I chatted with people using Windows Messenger and Google Chat. If I was bored I hit the StumbleUpon button a lot and looked at some LOLcats and cute puppy pictures.

Today, my surfing experience is entirely different. My home page is Google Reader and I follow over a hundred blogs and I comment on several blogs a week. I write my own blog and people read it and comment often. I follow and connect with people on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pownce and FriendFeed, and I share lots of bookmarks in del.icio.us and lots of photos on Flickr.

Notice the words I used to describe my surfing habits a year ago. Reading, finding, looking, bored. Notice the words I used for today’s version of surfing. Following, commenting, connecting, writing, sharing. Which do YOU think sounds more fun and worthwhile?

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