There are basically two situations we get into as self-employed people. Either we are completely overwhelmed because we don’t have enough clients, and therefore, don’t have enough money coming in, or, we are completely overwhelmed because we have so many clients, so many projects to get done and what would seem like not enough time.

Been on both sides of that fence? Yeah, me too. While the latter is obviously the ideal situation, it can be equally as stressful as the former. Having too much to do, and too many clients, especially when you’re self employed, is what my friend and former boss, Andrew Moizer, would classify as a “good problem”. But a good problem is still a problem, and even the best of problems can quickly turn into bad problems if they aren’t dealt with.

The thing about both of these problems – the one of not enough business, and the one of too much business – is that they have the same solutions. You see, both the good problem and the not-so-good problem create the same feelings of being overwhelmed. Therefore, it stands to reason that the path to stop these overwhelming feelings would be similar, right? Let’s explore some ways we can fight this, and reclaim our sense of calm and serenity in the midst of the chaos.

Always Baby Steps. I often equate self employment to climbing a big mountain. You start the journey, and you feel great. You are moving fast, and seeing the infinite potential and opportunities that lie ahead of you. Then, after a while of this, you realize you’re still climbing. You’re getting a bit tired. You’re running out of resources, and you still haven’t reached the first plateau. You slip, and slide back down the mountain, and have to start climbing all over again. Eventually, you get your feet under you, but not for long. Yes, you’re stronger now, but obstacles become more complex the higher you climb. You climb up a bit, slide down a bit, until eventually, you can see the summit.

Sound familiar?

The only way to get to the top of a mountain is one foot in front of the other. If you think that the moment you open the doors of your business, the money and clients are just going to fly in, well, I’m here to tell you you’re mistaken. (Don’t worry, we all made the same mistake.) It takes work, and sacrifice, and more work, and hustle, and courage, and not much sleep to start and run a company and make it successful. It also takes near infinite amounts of patience. Everest wasn’t conquered in a day, and every day you are working on your business you are on Mount Everest. And to get to the top, you have to do it like everyone else – baby steps, one foot in front of the other. Don’t overwhelm yourself by focusing everything you have on reaching the summit. Focus on the task at hand, then the next one, then the next one. Eventually, the top of the mountain will come into view.

How are you DOing? At the present time, I have somewhere in the neighbourhood of 20 projects on the go. I wrote them all down on my white board the other day, just to see what it looked like. At first, I thought it was going to send me into a panic. But when I saw it all laid out in front of me, it wasn’t so bad. In fact, I was kind of excited about it. There’s a lot of cool stuff going on!

A lot of people assume that when I say “projects” I mean “paid work”. I have a tendency to lump everything in together. That way, I can be sure that even the stuff I’m not being paid to do gets enough of my attention. I have some fun little creative side projects right now. They are a good break from my professional work, and that balance is critical.

So, do two things. First, make a list of all your projects…and I mean ALL of them. Yes, that scrapbooking project counts as a project. So does your podcast, your blog, and that going away party you’re planning for your cousin. Writing it all out helps you to see where your head is at and where your focus is. You can group them and categorize them any which way that makes sense.

Then, once you have your high level categories, start to make your task lists. Take each project, and write down all the associated tasks you need to get done. Put them in a To Do list. I use a combination of Evernote and Egretlist, because they are integrated and sync across systems. I tag each item with a priority and group it under a project. That way I always know what needs doing where and when. You can even keep your list in your calendar, or (GASP) a paper notebook or Daytimer.

What’s cool about having all your tasks laid out is, it becomes super easy to get started at something. Simply pick something from the list, and do it. I tend to have times where I’ll bang off a bunch of shorter items, like sending emails or small writing or research tasks in a group, then slot in some time to tackle the larger things. Crossing off 4 or 5 things in one go is a great way to feel like you’re accomplishing things, and it frees up space for the larger tasks too.

But whatever you do, don’t try to keep your To Do’s in your head. It never works, and you’ll forget stuff, and chaos can quickly become catastrophe. Writing it down gets it out of your head, so you don’t have to keep thinking about what needs doing – and you can just focus on doing.

Being busy, whether it’s hustling for new clients or managing the ones you have, is a good, good problem to have. As overwhelming as it can be, it’s important to not let it get to you. By focusing on putting one foot in front of the other, crossing off one task at a time, you’ll walk away from each day having climbed a bit higher up that mountain.

So, get yer hiking boots on. We got a hill to climb.

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On an average day, I probably skim through about 200 web sites. Most of these I subscribe to in my Google Reader, so that I can quickly scan the headlines and in some cases, the first bits of content for items of interest. Of those 200 items, I probably scan the body content of about 75. Of those 75, I probably read between 15 and 25. Of those, I probably am compelled to comment on 2-10 items.

We all want to figure out the secret sauce for getting more traffic to our content. The problem with only counting page views is, just because someone lands on a page of our site, doesn’t mean they are reading everything. They could be just like me – skimming for something interesting. If they don’t find it, they move on. That’s why I believe the more important things to track are comments, re-posts/shares, inbound links, and bounce rate. Those are not guarantees that people are reading, but they are a lot more reliable gauges than page views alone.

So how do we encourage people to actually READ and LEARN from what we are offering? How do we compel our readers to ACT upon what we’ve shown them – whether it’s to change a behaviour, or buy a product we are selling? I’ve broken it down to one simple concept.

Tell a great story.

Once upon a time I wanted you to buy my stuff. One of the biggest mistakes that people make online is they move to the sales pitch too fast. I like how Chris describes it – “I’m reaching out to shake your hand and you’re trying to put your tongue in my mouth.” If your blog post is entirely made up of you talking about how important you are and why everyone loves you and how much people pay you to do things, I’m moving on. I might even unsubscribe. If, the very first time I hit your web site, I see your squeeze page asking me to give you my email address or buy your $50 e-Book or $500 workshop, I’m outta there. For Pete’s sake, I don’t even know you yet!

Look. We all want to build our businesses. We all want to get to the end goal, being profitable, as quickly as possible. Many people are desperate – they’ve given up everything to start their companies, and now the cash flow isn’t there. The problem is, real sales takes time. People have to get to know you, trust you. They want to make sure they are getting something of value in return if they are going to give you some of their hard earned cash. It’s only fair that we respect that and be patient with our prospects.

And you’re right – it totally sucks having to be patient.

But rather than sitting around doing nothing, wondering why your hard-sell pitches aren’t working, why not focus on building up the reasons why people should want to be involved with you? Why not work on telling a better story about yourself?

My mind is a blank slate. Have you ever tried to write your own bio? It’s hard, eh? Difficult as it is, I think that anyone who wants to create content online MUST start by putting together their bio. Writing about yourself is a really great way to start to understand what you’re all about. And understanding what you’re all about is key to telling a great story. It’s a good idea to have someone else to help you with the bio. Ask them to interview you, or simply send them a draft that they can give you feedback on. Often, we are too modest when writing about ourselves, so our bios sound just like everyone else’s. But just going through the process of writing a bio can help you to understand a bit more about yourself, and getting someone else’s take can make you realize what you do and what you know that is of real value.

Once you understand more about who you are and what you have to offer, you can start to build stories around that.

Let’s say your background is in the telecommunications industry. You worked for 10 years with various major telcos, and this has given you a great understanding of how big companies work. You were a team leader there, so you have lots of insight into team building, empowerment, and creating successful collaborations. You were also there during the boom years AND the bust years of high tech, so you know all about how cutbacks can affect morale, and you’re an expert on survivor guilt.

How many story ideas are there in that last paragraph? Count them.

Write your bio. Then write a list of stories you can tell that relate to your experience. Start publishing those stories. And remember, if writing isn’t your bag, you don’t have to write. Grab a web cam, record your thoughts on video and put them up on YouTube. Get a portable audio recorder, create an audio podcast. Sure, you might feel weird at first, but with practice, you’ll get more comfortable, I promise.

Every piece of content that exists in the world is a story. In order to create great content, you have to be able to find the story in everything you do. Then, you have to sit your butt in the chair and express it.

Build stories and share. Build stories, and share.

I bet that before you know it, opportunities will be pouring in from people who want to hear more of your story. Sounds like a much more enjoyable way to make a living, don’t you think?

By the way – there are 8 story ideas in that paragraph. Did you find them all?

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Everyone’s talking about execution these days. Seth’s talking about it over here. Ok, well it’s mostly Seth, but well, we should all be listening to him anyway.

Execution is critical to success in business, and it’s the very thing that many people fall short on. Lots of people get wrapped up in the thrill of the chase, but once they’ve landed the gig, actually executing on what’s been promised proves to be a challenge. Projects fail all the time because of failure to execute. Personal goals fail all the time for the same reason. Failure to execute.

Often, the failure happens long before the point of execution. We meet a prospect. We have a great chat, about all the possibilities. Both parties walk away feeling inspired and excited. Perhaps you even get to the point of putting together a proposal that outlines how execution can happen, but by the time you deliver it to your prospect, excitement has waned, other priorities have taken hold, and execution might seem impossible. In this case, it’s easy to blame the other party. After all, you worked till 2am to deliver that gorgeous proposal, how dare they not call you back right away! They were so excited about what you had to offer last week – why aren’t they making you a priority now?

Eventually, the prospect fades, but your resentment doesn’t. So you continue to go through the process – prospect, proposal, crickets. Prospect, proposal, crickets.

So, what’s wrong with your prospects?

Well, absolutely nothing.

What’s wrong is your approach. You see, the problem is we’re hungry. Our focus is on the prize (the paycheque, and/or the glory). So, we just want to skip a bunch of steps. We want our prospect to just say yes and sign on the dotted line, and we’ll figure out the rest later. It’s like calling someone your girlfriend when you haven’t even had a first date yet.

Patience is not my bag. I’ve never been an exceptionally patient person. When I get something in my head, it’s all I can think about. I dream about it, imagine it happening, becoming a reality in front of me. I feel the joy it will bring. I’m showered in good feelings.

And then I just want it to happen, like, NOW.

More than anything, having my own business has proven one thing to me. Good things DO come to those who wait. The longer a prospect takes to make a decision, the more comfortable I feel that they have done their homework, comparison shopped, dotted their I’s and crossed their T’s, and secured their funding. It’s an absolute fact that it always takes longer for someone to say “yes” then it does for them to say “no”. And that’s a good thing. I’d much rather my clients make an informed decision that they feel good about than to dive in with both feet and realize they’ve made a mistake halfway through.

So, be patient. Be really, REALLY patient. Out-patience your competition, and be the one who is still around when the prospect finally comes back and is ready to move forward.

But being patient doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sit back and wait forever. Follow up is still important. Dropping a line to say hi, I’m still here, is more than acceptable. Inviting your prospect to lunch, or coffee, is perfectly fine. Keep the relationship moving, let the prospect know you’re still there, is a very good thing. Often, it’s just the small tap they need to get the ball rolling again. Time it well though – use your instincts to guide you to the right next step.

Bank accounts are not patient. You’re right. Bank accounts are notorious for not being patient. So are those insistent people you have to pay your bills to. They don’t really get the whole “Well, I’m just being patient until my prospect makes a decision” thing. So, that just adds to our pressure, our hunger to get a decision out of people.

So what to do in the meantime? Well, keep pursuing new prospects, for sure. But find something else to do, to ease the financial pressure. Pick up a freelance gig. Heck, get a part time job, or keep your full time one. Don’t put yourself in a position that you’re starving. I work several days a month for a project management consulting firm. It’s a side gig, where I can make my own hours and work from home. I’m given assignments, deliverables, and deadlines, and as long as I meet them everyone is happy and I get a cheque every couple of weeks. I keep this job going because it provides me with a buffer zone, and makes me less anxious about signing that next deal. Plus, I really like the people I work with over there. Plus plus, it’s provided me with some new opportunities for my own business. But ultimately, my sales cycle is not dependent on me making the bills for the month – so I have some room for patience, negotiation, and a bit more time to build that comfort level and relationship with my prospects.

Growing a business is a process. It may seem to you like other peoples’ businesses are overnight successes, because we only get to know about them once they’ve landed the huge client or made a million bucks. Nothing could be further from the truth. The formative years of your business are right now – where you’re building your portfolio, creating long term relationships and expanding your referral network.

The rest is just patience.

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

— Robert Frost

One of the things that has always attracted me to social media is that it allows me to get a glimpse into other peoples’ lives. Reading blogs like In Over Your Head from Julien Smith, or Levite Chronicles from Jon Swanson gives me a snapshot into what someone else is thinking at that moment. Following people on Twitter like Christopher Penn and Danny Brown provides a stream of real time thoughts, feelings and inspiration. Facebook allows me to instantly answer the question “What ever happened to…?” as I pick up where I left off with friends from over the years.

We are more connected to each others’ thoughts and feelings than we have ever been. We can literally follow along as people go about their daily lives, but more than that, in an instant, we can become involved in the story. All it takes is one comment, one reply, or one small note to open up doors we never thought possible.

Thinking of how we’ve intertwined our lives thrills me. I am close friends with people I never thought I’d have an opportunity to meet. I’m doing business with people all over the world, many of whom I’ve never met in person. We’re bonded together, with some sort of technological epoxy, and that bond is not easily broken.

But an issue starts to occur when that bond becomes too significant. We begin to pay too much attention to everyone elses’ life and we start to forget our own focus. We look at all the brilliant people around us, and we start to compare ourselves to them. “Is this blog post going to measure up?”, “Am I saying the right things?”, “Am I the next [name of favourite social media guru]?”

I learn so much from my friends out here in this world. Every day I’m given new things to think about, new ways to expand my business, my career, my spirit. But the minute I start to get too wrapped up in other peoples’ thoughts and opinions, I need to take a step back. I need to get re-focused on my own path. I’ve got to check in with myself every now and again to see where I am on my path.

It’s important to have mentors, it really is. I’ve had some dandy ones, and I still do. Everyone needs people to look up to and learn about success, and failure, and everything in between. It’s all fine and well to be inspired by someone’s achievements, but never, ever, EVER aspire to be “just like” anyone.  Look around you. See those people who are succeeding the way you want to? You can have that too. But you can’t do it the same way they did. Why? Because everyone’s path is different.

Let’s say your dream is to be the CEO of your own successful company. You see someone you know doing this and you want it too; he’s building his company, getting lots of clients, speaking all over the country, and starting to rake in the dough. You begin to study how that person got there, and you start to realize a few things. First, his spouse has a really good full time job, and they were able to afford to be a one-income household for a while. Second, they don’t have kids to feed. Third, he’s got an investor on board who has put forward a good chunk of change to get things moving.

But you’re a single mom, with big rent and big bills and you absolutely can’t afford to give up your day job. You don’t have any investors, and don’t have the time or the money to travel around to try and get some, either. Suddenly your dream of having your own company starts to fade. You go back to life as you know it.

And that is where the problem lies. We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others. If you want to be the CEO of your own successful company, it doesn’t matter HOW you get there. What’s important is that you get there.

We all travel our own path in this life. Our lives intersect with others, sometimes very deeply, as with our family, our spouses, our friends, and our mentors. But in the end, it’s just you. You are the one who has to get out of bed every morning and decide what you’re going to do with your life.  You are the one who knows your circumstances better than anyone, and you are the only one who can decide what step to take next. Oh sure, you can ask advice from those close to you, you can read and learn and share and ask questions. But it’s you, and only you, that has to make the decision.

Lots of single moms with little time and less income become successful businesspeople. They do it because they figure out how to succeed in spite of their circumstances. They don’t compare themselves to others. They listen, and learn, and absorb information. But then they make decisions based on what they know deep down inside.

We only get one shot at this life. One shot. If we spend all our  time living through other people, trying to be just like everyone else, then we’re going to wind up on our death bed wondering why we never accomplished much. You can’t achieve anything on someone else’s hand. You get the hand you’re dealt. You must play it. So stop trying to live everyone else’s life, and start living your own.

Go on, then…what are you waiting for?

Photo credit: John-Morgan on Flickr

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You know what’s amazing?

• That even though I live in one of the coldest, snowiest Capital cities in the world, I can sit by the edge of my 80 degree pool, with birds chirping, water glistening, in the sunblock scented air on a hot summer day, in my own backyard, and type this to you.
• That I literally have the entire world at my fingertips, with no wires attached. I can find answers to just about anything and talk to just about anyone with the click of a button.
• That in just two short years, I have met more people from more parts of the world than I ever thought possible, and that I’ve done it mostly from my sofa, in what seems like just a brief moment in time.
• That I’ve forged some of the best friendships of my life out of these moments we’ve shared. That I’ve been blessed to have had the opportunity to meet some of you, my friends, in person, and that when I did, I felt lucky beyond words to know you.
• That if not for this place we share here, my business would have probably remained relatively local. That I would have missed so many wonderful, amazing opportunities to work with you, to help you, to share with you.
• That by sharing what I know, and by learning what you know, we’ve all become stronger, wiser, and better. And we’ve done it together.
• That the things we are able to accomplish together knows no bounds. It’s only held back by our fear and our self-imposed limits. But because we have each other, we will never have to go it alone.
• That the Internet could end tomorrow…but what we all have with each other will continue on.

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

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