I’m witnessing such an influx these days of “Learn how to Tweet” courses, and “Use Facebook to Win Clients and Influence People” workshops. It’s got me quite frustrated. I’m also growing weary of the “Want to Pick My Brain? That will be $400,000 a day!” conversation.

I’m afraid we’re moving away from the things we should be focusing on in order to be successful (and help our clients be successful) in the world of online communication. We’re focused on money and tools again.

We need to focus on the people.

Take me to the common ground. It’s a little known fact, that in my spare time, I study World Religions. I’ve always had a fascination for different faiths and cultures, but what I’m most into is looking at religion as a whole, and finding the common threads through them, and how those commonalities play themselves out in teachings, belief structure and ritual. I’m far from a scholar on this subject, though if I ever decide to go to university, this is what I’ll study.

One of the commonalities of all religions is compassion. The Buddha defined compassion and presence. Jesus was compassion personified, and he did his best to teach others too. Compassion is also a central part of the Muslim and Jewish faiths. Most people are taught compassion from a very young age, through their family’s faith system. Even those that are not brought up in a religious household are able to pick things up from their teachers, and hopefully their family members.

So it stands to reason that most of us should understand, and practice compassion without too much trouble, right? Sure, we try, but I don’t think that we’re always succeeding at being compassionate.

True compassion is not easy. It’s not hard to pat a friend on the back when he’s having a bad day. But to do it with genuine compassion? That can take a lot out of you. Because being genuinely compassionate means seeing the situation from somebody else’s point of view – and that can be painful. It can be hard for us to face our own problems on a daily basis, let alone others’!

So I think that the average person, when faced with being truly compassionate, will pick and choose their battles carefully. They’ll take on the burden of pain for their children, or their spouse, or their immediate family. But when it comes to other friends, colleagues, or especially people we interact with online? Much, much harder.

Here’s the thing though. Being truly compassionate is one of the primary ways to develop trust within your networks. And the first key to cultivating compassion is to be a really, really good listener. And isn’t that what we’re all saying about building social media strategies? Listen first?

Here’s the difference between “listening” and “listening compassionately”. Listening is about searching for keywords, finding people who are talking about the thing you’re interested in, and monitoring until someone says the right thing at the right moment, so you can pounce. Listening compassionately is not only about finding those conversations, but listening to what people are really talking about. Don’t just search for a keyword. Read what’s being said. Understand what problems exist. Ask relevant questions. Get involved in the emotion and passion of what other people care about. Only with a compassionate ear, will you be able to get to the heart of matters, and then figure out how what you offer, or sell, or want to market can help.

The pleasant side effect of this approach is, it takes time to listen compassionately. So, you’re not jumping in to the conversation right away, offering a solution, or shilling your wares (which never works). You’re taking time to hear other people out, to ask them questions, to get to know them – to develop a relationship based on trust, and…you guessed it! Compassion.

A lot of people won’t bother with the compassionate route. It takes too much time. It can be emotionally draining. So, the very nature of being compassionate gives you a strategic advantage.

Compassion is hard work, but it’s far from draining. I have no trouble getting to sleep at night because I’m feeding off the emotion and energy of the people I’m working with – online and off. I’m giving so much of myself, but in return I’m getting so much back. And because of this exchange of energy, my business is thriving and my personal relationships are strong.

And isn’t exchange of energy and compassion what life is all about?

On The Dalai Lama’s Facebook page this morning, was the following quote:

“Some people think that cultivating compassion is good for others but not necessarily good for themselves, but this is wrong. You are the one who benefits most directly since compassion immediately instills in you a sense of calm, inner strength, and a deep confidence and satisfaction, whereas it is not certain that the object of your feeling of compassion will benefit.”

His Holiness is saying that in fact, cultivating compassion creates a calming force in our life. It’s the ultimate satisfaction, because being compassionate enables us to listen more intently, and speak our minds more clearly – even if we’re not certain our energy will be understood or reciprocated. Compassion is selfless, but the irony is, it actually benefits us first.

Be a better communicator – just by cultivating compassion. Kinds makes sense, eh?

[photo credit: Jesslee Cuizon on Flickr]

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Molly Murphy

My, my, but we’re a serious bunch.

This post is inspired by a YouTube video that my Twitter buddy Geoff Livingston posted recently. The video is called “20 Silly Twitter Remarks” and if you want a good chuckle, take 3 minutes and watch it. As I was watching, two thoughts occurred to me. First, for someone who isn’t on Twitter, these comments would probably seem even more absurd. Second, for the people who said those things (no attribution was given, but a few were recognizable to me), one of two things will happen. Either they’ll laugh right along with everyone else, or they’ll freak out, and get all hot under the collar about the fact that someone’s poking fun at them. I hope it’s the former, I really do. But past history of posts such as this dictates that someone is bound to get their knickers in a twist. I hope I’m wrong. Kudos to Geoff for being so darn funny and entertaining on camera. I hope he does many more like this.

Business on the Sides, Party at the Back. Ahhh, the mullet - signature hairstyle of the average dude in the 70s and 80s. You had one. C’mon. Admit it. (I may have even had one for a while, but let’s not go there!) My theory as to why the mullet became popular was because it was deemed “acceptable” in the workplace. Companies didn’t want any long-haired hippies wandering around, so men started to chop the front of their hair short, to look more professional, but they left the back long to show that they still had a less serious, wild streak.

The ability to genuinely laugh at oneself is charming, endearing, and sexy. But I think that often, especially in the online world, we’re trying SO HARD to exude a certain type of “personal brand”, that we forget that it’s okay to be silly once in a while. It’s okay to poke fun at ourselves, and even sometimes at those we respect (as long as it’s not hurtful). Remember when you were a kid, and that girl or boy on the playground would tease you incessantly? You’d go home and cry to your Mom about it, and she’d say “Oh, that means he/she likes you!”. Most of the time, that’s true. If someone teases you, it’s often a show of respect and admiration. Take it as a compliment. Of course, then tease them right back, to show that you love them too!

So, sometimes, be a little less business, and a little more party. You’ll probably make some new friends, and for sure, you’ll have a lot more fun.

Nobody Cares What You’re Having For Lunch. Or do they? I had conversation with a colleague the other day about Twitter. He is still working on figuring Twitter out, understanding how it fits into his day-to-day life, and how it can benefit his business. He told me that he had some reservations about being too “personal” in the social space, but at the same time he wanted to ensure he wasn’t just being that guy pushing his links out and not interacting. He was a bit stumped as to what he was supposed to be talking about. I said “Tell ‘em what you had for lunch!” Naturally, he looked at me like I had three heads.

Lots of “social media experts” will tell you that you shouldn’t talk about what you had for lunch on Twitter, because nobody cares. You shouldn’t post pictures of your cats – you’ll look like that crazy cat lady. And you shouldn’t goof off – people will think you’re not working hard enough.

I guess I’m doing it wrong.

I tell people what I have for lunch. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Ideas for recipes, which is great because I love to cook. Connections and friendships with talented foodies from all over, like my friends Don and Jenn from FoodiePrints, which is great because I love to talk about food. And, I’m doing Weight Watchers, so it’s tapped me into a very supportive Twitter community and we’re helping each other meet our weight loss goals. All this, from telling people what I had for lunch.

I post pictures of my cats. Not every day, but often. What’s that gotten me? Well, I don’t have human children, so my pets are my kids. They are one of the most important parts of my life, just like your kids are. When they do something cute or funny, I want to share that with my friends, just like you want to share memories of your human kids. Lots of people seem to enjoy my pictures, and we have many fun conversations about it. My pet pictures have connected me to people who are now my clients. So I suppose I should thank my cats for being so darn cute, eh?

I goof off. One day, a couple of months back, I was taking a break from work (yes, I do that occasionally), and I was poking around on Twitter. I realized that I had 4997 followers. Now, before you start talking to me about how follower numbers aren’t important, blah dee blah – this is about FUN. I thought it would be fun to offer a special surprise for my 5000th follower, so I suggested that maybe I’d write a song. The campaign started, and while I waited for my 5000th follower to show up, I wrote this. When @MCouto finally did come along, I posted the song. People got a good laugh. Then I went on with my day. What did this get me? Well, a new buddy in @MCouto, A.K.A “Follower 5000″. And I’ve met others because I follow him. The pay off? Purely social. But purely fun.

Social media is not all business, all the time. It’s okay to use the forum to just have some fun. Share some snippets of your life, even if it’s the view out the window of the coffee shop, or off the end of the dock at your cottage. Goof off sometimes, tease the people you love a bit, or just send a hug to a friend having a bad day. You want to enhance your personal brand? Don’t try to “be” a persona. Just be you – the same you that you’d be if I was meeting you in person.

How are you going to have a little more fun online?

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Wow.

Suddenly all anyone seems to be talking about in the social media world is influence. Tools like Klout, a system that uses some sort of complex calculation to say how influential you are on Twitter, are rising to popularity. Now, social media dashboard app HootSuite has jumped on the bandwagon too, posting Twitter users’ Klout score when you click on a profile. The @oldspice guy is even in there, posting personalized videos to “influential” Twitterers (and others too, admittedly, but c’mon…who do you think they were really targeting with those videos?).

You’ve got to be kidding me.

Sure. I looked at my Klout score. It’s 53. I have no idea what that means. I don’t really care, either. But I can assure you, there are people, right now, breezing around their HootSuite dashboard, clicking on everyone’s names, and filtering anyone with a score of 60 or higher into a special list called “influencers”.

Then, once they have their precious list of Twitter Super Powers, they’ll begin to spend their days trying to figure out how to get those peoples’ attention. Because wow – if only I could get @kevinrose to retweet my article about the iPhone 4 antenna….then, I will have arrived!

You’ve got to be kidding me some more.

All the cool kids are doing it. You see, the problem is, people are confusing “influence” with “popularity”. Sure, if Kevin Rose retweets your link, you’ll probably get an awful lot of hits on your post. You wrote a great tech post, he’s a tech guy, and lots of people that follow Kevin trust him when he recommends something. Does that mean he’s influential? Sure it does. But that’s about where it stops. It’s wonderful that you got so many people hitting your blog. It’s great that you earned a few new followers. But once the initial spike happens, it will just settle out. Just because you got 500 reads on your post doesn’t mean you’re going to get 500 reads every day from here on in. Trust me, it simply doesn’t work like that.

People who consistently have high traffic and a dedicated audience have built that over time – by providing consistently stellar content, but more importantly, by taking the time to be an active part of the community which they serve. They have nurtured their readership. They aren’t relying on the popular kids to get the word out. They are working really, really hard to show people the value in their content – all by themselves.

Return on Eyeballs is more important than Return on Influence. Last year, I posted on this blog about a concept that I think is, unfortunately, going by the wayside. It’s called “Return on Eyeballs”. The idea is, it’s not about targeting your stuff to people who are influential. It’s about targeting your stuff to people who are interested. It’s not about how many people see what you’ve done – it’s about WHO sees it.

In that post, I used an example of someone who makes custom baseball bats. Sure, they can get a bit of attention by promoting to so-called “influencers”, if their idea is clever and good, but again, that’s fleeting. They will have far more long-term success by focusing on building a dedicated community of interest than trying to get the attention of the popular set. With some hard work in the right areas, the right opportunity may serendipitously (or intentionally) come along. In my hypothetical example, I suggested that maybe baseball bat guy gets noticed by the equipment manager of a major league baseball team. They sign a contract and bat guy’s business booms. Does the equipment manager, in this case, have influence? Sure he does. He influenced his boss to contract the bat maker.

But the equipment manager’s Klout score is only 16! He doesn’t have any influence!

See how silly this is?

How about we forget about all these ridiculous numbering schemes? How about we stop confusing influence with being one of the popular kids?

How about we focus on building up our own communities, with our own people, and our own set of influencers who are actually influential, instead of just being the ones with the biggest following, or the loudest voice? Yes, it will take time. Yes, it will take work. But ultimately, everyone will be better off, don’t you think?

(Oh, and as for Old Spice guy? I think the campaign is brilliant. But keep in mind, their strategy of targeting popular (or in their words, “influential”) Twitter people only works because they are a well known brand. I have a feeling Allysa Milano wouldn’t have given a rat’s butt if Mr. No Name made a video about her.)

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Oh, how we love our buzzwords, eh?

My head is spinning lately, and unfortunately it’s not with great stuff. It’s with frustration, distrust, and apathy. Those are heavy words, I know – but I’m feeling them.

How I do love these social media. I really do. Connections I’ve made on Twitter, Facebook, through my blog and by attending valuable events like Podcamps and PAB have literally changed my life. I’m a better writer now. I’m a public speaker. I’m teaching others how to work and play and grow their businesses with digital communications. 3 years ago I’d have thought none of it was possible.

And that’s why I’m so upset by what I’m seeing these days. The proliferation of snake oil salesmen, bad advice, and buzzwords that mean nothing is making me crazy. People are being swindled into paying thousands of dollars to attend conferences so they can be sold more fluffy eBooks and hardcovers. They are being forced to listen to the same presenters drone on about the same old stuff, as if it’s the wisdom of the ages. And people are getting suckered into it left, right and centre.

Be Authentic! Engage with your Customers! Increase your Influence!

Wait…wait. Think about those three words for a minute.

Authenticity. Well, I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, my parents told me over and over again, “Just be yourself, and people will love you!”. If I lied to my parents and they found out – ZAP! No TV for a week. I was encouraged to be authentic, honest and truthful in my interactions. If I wasn’t, there were consequences. Therefore, I grew up being…well….Authentic.

Engagement. Being a military family, we moved around a lot when I was a kid. We were always posted in the summer, so the first step upon moving into a new neighbourhood was that my brother and I would have to go out and meet the other kids. Mom would stealthily identify in advance which houses on our street had kids my age, then she’d give me a gentle shove out the door. “Go to number 45, I think I saw a girl your age over there.”

“But Mom, I don’t want t…”

“Just go knock on the door, dear. They won’t bite!”

I’d suck up my courage and walk down the street and knock ever so quietly on the door. A parent would answer.

“Is your daughter home?”

“She’s in the back yard. Why don’t you go around?”.

I’d wander cautiously into the back yard, walk up to the little girl, and say “Hi, my name is Susan. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I like your Barbies.”, just like my Mom taught me. Say your name, be polite, compliment the other person. Engage with them on their level. Hey – that sounds familiar.

Yep – apparently I learned Engagement when I was 6 years old, too.

Influence. On the playground, we always had to figure out what game we were going to play next. Hide and Seek? Tag? Red Rover? The bigger the group, the harder it was to decide. But, there were always those in the group that seemed to be able to sway our opinions. They’d give compelling reasons like, “Well, there’s 15 of us today, so Red Rover would be the most fun”. Sometimes we’d listen to them because they’d provide a more risky option – one that, if our parents found out, we’d probably get in trouble.

These select few had influence over the group. Why? Well, sometimes they tended to be the older kids, so in our eyes they knew more. But age didn’t always define it. Sometimes the influential ones were just the ones that said stuff that made sense. If we did it their way, we’d for sure have more fun. We’d take a bigger risk. We’d try (and maybe even learn) something new.

Soon, I learned how to come up with creative ideas that would influence the group. I’d voice my opinion, and sometimes, other kids would listen to me too. I may have not been the most popular kid back then, but I discovered I could influence when I wanted to.

So I guess I learned Influence on the playground.

So, if the concepts of Engagement, Authenticity and Influence were learned when we were kids, why are we hanging on the every word of the people who know little, and do nothing but tow the line? Someone telling me that in order to be successful in social media, I need to Engage, be Authentic, and increase my Influence is like someone treating me like I’m 6 years old. And that’s kind of insulting, don’t you think? Can you see why I’m frustrated?

To be human, you need to understand these three concepts. It should go without saying that all of your interactions, online, offline, in person, in social media, writing a letter, going to the post office, visiting your Grandma, should be Authentic, Engaging and Influential. That’s humanity, not social media.

Well, maybe this doesn’t make any sense, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. But before you do that, please watch this 4 minute video from my friend Andrea Ross. Because she is the embodiment of the things we SHOULD be paying attention to when it comes to being successful in this space. Thank you, Andrea, for your thoughts, your wisdom and your inspiration. You’re the real deal.

[photo credit: albyper on Flickr]

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I’m sitting here this morning, going through my usual morning routine. Check email, reply to a few. Log onto Twitter, say good morning to people, see what’s going on. Check Facebook, reply to messages, comment on a few posts. Move over to my Google Reader, read a few of my faves, make note of some things to read later. This process leaves me energized and feeling connected with others, gives me some new information to take forward into my day, and also has the practical benefit of catching me up on my correspondence.

But what if all of this ended tomorrow? As unlikely as it is, imagine for a few minutes that you wake up tomorrow and there’s no Internet. No email, no blogs, no Twitter, no Facebook. No Google Chat, cloud computing or podcasts. It’s all gone.

Let’s pretend that this isn’t a catastrophe, that nobody is panicked about it. Let’s pretend that life goes on (because it does).

What would we take away from the online experience we’ve had?

We’d be better listeners. You know that experience when you’re at a loud party, and there’s so much noise in the background that it’s hard carry on a conversation? Social media is like that. We are bombarded with information on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis. 90% of it is noise. Other people having conversations that you’re not involved in. Links to stuff that you don’t really care about (but that others are passionate about).

Have you noticed at the noisy party, that the conversations you do have require a great deal of concentration and focus? You listen more intently. You work to filter out the background noise.

The social Web has taught us how to filter, how to zero in on those conversations that mean something to us. It’s taught us how to study what people are talking about so we can understand our customers better, and create better, more human-focused businesses. The social Web has made many of us much, much better listeners.

How do you think our newfound filtering abilities would work in a world without the Web? Well, I think we’d all be paying more attention to the things we care about. We’d stop focusing on things that weren’t our concern (like gossip, and negative people). Our noise filters are finely honed instruments now. Try listening outside the Web with the same filter in place. You’ll start to hear the conversations you need to hear, and find the opportunities you need to find.

We’d appreciate each other more. I’ve had many a conversation with non-Web inclined people about having online friends. There are plenty of people around who don’t believe that you can have a “true” friendship with someone you’ve never met in person, or have only met a few times.

Jon Swanson and I were friends for a year before we ever met in person. About 15 minutes before we met for the first time, I called him on the phone to get directions. Up until that moment, when he picked up the phone and said “hello”, our friendship had been entirely based in text on a screen. A few minutes later, we found ourselves sitting across from each other at lunch, and it was like we’d been having lunch together for years. The in-person conversation picked up right where it left off on the screen. And after meeting that day, the conversation moved seamlessly back to the computer screen. Online friendship is a funny thing – it makes no difference how you connect. It’s only important that you connect.

If the Web ended tomorrow, I think it’s safe to say that certain connections would fade away. But that happens anyway – people move in and out of our view all the time. Sometimes you have friends that you talk to all the time, and sometimes you drift apart. That ebb and flow exists whether we’re online or not.

But in a Web-less world, the real relationships would endure. I think the Web has taught us how to be better friends with people. It’s widened the scope of our world. We have now had the opportunity to see life through so many others’ eyes. Jon and I have quite different lives. It’s highly unlikely we’d have ever met if it wasn’t for the Web and connecting through a mutual friend. Even at that, we met on Twitter, so it was sort of left up to chance.

I think the Web has made us more curious about other people, and less afraid to reach out. Seeing what’s going on in other peoples’ lives makes us more caring, compassionate, and helpful.

If it ended tomorrow, I have no doubt that the relationships would endure. Maybe we’d go back to using the phone more. Maybe we’d write letters and post cards again. Maybe we’d have more reason to go visiting. But somehow, we’d find ways to keep the meaningful connections alive.

We’d promote our businesses better. I was having a conversation the other day with a client about promoting their business. Of course, we were talking about online tools, and the potential to use the Web to make real, human connections with their customers. There was excitement in the air as my client realized the possibilities that exist for really connecting with people in this way.

Marketing is no longer about shouting at people about your business. It’s not only about ads in the newspaper or press releases or billboards on the side of the highway. The two-way Web has caused a massive culture shift. Businesses are regularly talking with people now, and vice versa. It’s a magnificent thing. It’s a process that I think a lot of businesses, once they get into it, find very comfortable. Smart businesses have learned that conversation marketing works, and works well.

If the Web ended tomorrow, would this new way of conversing with our customers persist? Or would we fall back into our old habits?

I suspect that we’d find ways to keep the conversation going, don’t you?

If it all ended tomorrow….

The tools will be gone, but the shift will have already taken place.

The conversation lives on.

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I’ve spoken before about the social media “bubble”. You know, this warm and cozy place where all us Twitter-loving, high tech super early adopting thirty and forty somethings spend a good chunk of our lives. We have our own gurus, our special buzzwords, and our own geek-a-paloooza assortment of Dungeons and Dragons inside jokes and bad 80′s references written on t-shirts. Even though we pride ourselves on “openness” and “transparency”, you have to admit, it’s kind of a secret club. Oh sure, anyone can join, but they have to know the secret password (it’s “social media d-bag”).

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

You see, the whole POINT of social media is to create online communities of people with common interests. It just so happens that the common interest many of us have happens to be social media.

We sit inside the bubble, but it’s only one of thousands of bubbles. It just so happens that what goes on inside our bubble isn’t dog breeding, or photography, or banjo playing..it’s social media. And ironically, we’re using the very tools and strategies we love, to talk about the tools and strategies we love.

To an outsider, that must look pretty weird, eh?

There are a lot of people outside the bubble looking at us sort of cock-eyed, I think. They wonder why we yammer on all day about ROI, community building, and measuring sentiment. They visit our blogs to try to understand more, but the backstory isn’t there. It’s on 15 other web sites we’ve linked to, and if they haven’t been head-down reading Mashable and Gizmodo for the past three days, then the point is lost on them. Back to dog breeding, then.

The thing is, do the people outside the bubble care? Not as much as we think (and maybe hope) they do.

While we sit around discussing the merits of having a Fan Page on Facebook, they are probably opening up their flower shop for the day. While we have blogchats and webinars, they are building a house. While we debate iPads and Androids, they are creating policies for health care reform. See what I mean?

We live this stuff, because for many of us, it’s part of our job. My clients come to me because I know a lot about video, web design, and online marketing/social media/whatever you call it. They pay me to help them understand this stuff, just like I’d pay a contractor to build me a new fence when I need one.

There is one problem I have with the bubble, though. Some people are treating it like Fort Knox. They are doing this because they think that by keeping the walls high and inaccessible and staying inside of them, they get to have easier access to the money. And they figure, if they can keep their clients in the dark long enough, about “mysterious” things like Search Engine Optimization, RSS and WordPress, then they can milk more cash out of the wallets of the unsuspecting neophytes. It’s shameful behaviour and it needs to stop.

As my friend Kneale would say, social media ain’t rocket surgery. Yes, it’s a new way of communicating. Indeed, there’s a sea of information to wade through. There are myriad tools and new things to learn. But ultimately, the whole point of social media tools is that the tools are supposed to be easy to use. And they are. Just ask my Mom. She teaches me stuff about Facebook.

If you want to really help your clients, don’t try to convince them that this stuff is complicated. It’s not. Your clients shouldn’t be hiring you to teach them how to use LinkedIN. Nobody needs a $1000 weekend retreat to learn how to tweet. Social media consultants are a passing fancy. Your clients need your expertise in how to use all media to more effectively tell their stories. That’s it.

As for us bubble-dwellers, the best way for us to understand more what our clients need is to step out of the bubble once in a while. There are a lot of cool people doing a lot of neat stuff online, and many of them don’t even know that what they are doing is “social media”. They are just doing it. Social Media isn’t an industry. Social media are a way of communicating.

The bubble is a valuable place for us. It’s where we hone our craft, learn from each other, and geek out. That’s a good thing, my friends. But remember, there’s a whole other world out there. We should try to be part of that one once in a while, too.

[photo credit: Jeff Kubina on Flickr]

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Back in TV school, I was taught that when framing up a shot, it’s really important to look at the background. Even if the framing of a shot is perfect, if something weird is going on in the background, it can ruin everything. It could be a cable from a light running across the floor. It could be a person goofing off at their desk, or a strange looking shadow. It could also be a case of bad juxtaposition – when a stair rail, or a picture frame “cuts” through the back of someone’s head. If you don’t focus on the background, then the perception of what’s in the foreground can be completely lost.

I think a big part of the problem with the reluctance of many people to adopt social media is that many people are not spending enough time focusing on the background.

How’s your DOF? There’s an expression used in film, video and photography known as Depth of Field. Specifically, it refers to the amount of distance between the nearest and farthest objects in the frame that appear in sharp focus in an image. So, if you have a shallow Depth of Field, it means that you’ll see one object clearly in focus, while all other objects in the background appear out of focus. On the other hand, having a deep depth of field means that everything in the picture appears to be relatively in focus, whether it’s up close to the foreground or far in the background.

Shallow depth of field is often used for dramatic effect. It’s a very attractive style, because it allows the eye to focus on one thing, blurring everything else in the background. Deep depth of field can be very attractive when shooting landscapes – it’s a wide-angle shot where everything is crystal clear.

Part of what freaks people out about social media is that by nature, it is exposing. There’s no shallow DOF in social media. It’s all quite deep, in fact. Successful social media is not about companies interacting, it’s about humans interacting. And that means there’s going to be an endless mix of dimensions, tastes, activities, comments, questions, and information. Some of it may be junk to you. Some may be of incredible value to you. But the fact is, social media is vast, and deep, like a photograph where you can see for miles and miles and miles. And that scares a lot of people.

Consider your online interactions for a moment. Who are the people you relate to best? Are they the ones who only show you a little bit of themselves, and keep the rest a closely guarded secret? Or are they the people who present a clear picture of who they are, from all angles, flattering and not-so-flattering?

Social media has deep, deep Depth of Field. The people and companies that are most successful in the medium are those who accept that. Their lens is not focused on one one object. It’s focused on the vast expanse and potential of each interaction they have.

Juxtapose this! I remember one of my profs in TV school equating juxtaposition to that classic gag that comedian Steve Martin made famous. He always said “You don’t want to be the guy with the arrow through your head”. When framing up a shot, you need to be totally conscious of what’s happening behind your subject. If there’s a picture frame, or stair rail, or any object, appearing to stick out of, or cut through the back of someone’s head, it makes them look silly. And nobody wants to look silly.

If social media is all about genuine relationships and real conversations and actual human beings, then it stands to reason that occasionally, even the best intentioned people are going to look silly. It doesn’t matter whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, the owner of a flower shop in rural Iowa, or a PR flack trying to build your professional network and generate leads, when you choose to engage on social media platforms, you need to be prepared to open yourself up to the possibility that someday, what you say in the foreground, and what’s going on in the background won’t match.

But that does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. Some of the most fascinating and dynamic people I know online are that way because they accept that the image everyone sees in the foreground is completely subject to what’s happening in the background. That means, if someone is having a bad day in the background, and that surfaces, so be it. If someone is super busy and just trying to keep up in the background, it might mean they have to reframe things. All of this is real life, and all of it’s more than okay. We need to be accepting of everyone’s juxtaposition.

What I think is at once amazing and frightening about social media is that it’s totally raw. The people who use the medium most successfully are completely in focus at all dimensions, and they are not worried that sometimes things are just going to line up in funny ways. They deal with it, and move on.

I am hopeful that as more people begin to understand this new medium, they will be more inclined to present the wide angle view of themselves. For often, what’s in the background is far more compelling than a shallow little dot of focus.

What say you?

[photo credit ohector on Flickr]

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In the online world, Content is King….and everyone wants a turn on the throne. Competition for eyeballs is fiercer than ever, and with such an influx of information hitting everyone all the time, it can be pretty discouraging for the average content creator like you and me to even know where to start. How can I even compete with the top sites out there? How is anyone even going to know about my blog or podcast, let alone stay interested in it?

It’s enough to make even the most prolific media maker want to go back to just passively watching re-runs of LOST and CSI Miami on the couch.

So how do you rise above? How do you make sure your content is kick-ass enough to get noticed? Well, there are plenty of articles and seminars out there that will show you how to get the eyeballs you desire fast. Some of them have valuable tips, but others, I find, are focused on the wrong things. Like anything in new media, it’s not about how many eyeballs you get, it’s about the quality of those eyeballs.

Stop with the viral, already. There are plenty of companies out there that will tell you that they can help you make the next viral video. They guarantee you 20,000 views in 1 week, or your money back. They tell you that they, and only they, have the secret formula for getting everyone in the world to see what you’ve got. These people are nothing but glorified spammers. Run away, run away! There are inherent problems with companies who claim to be able to make “viral” content.

The fact is, viral videos are not made, they happen. Do you think that the Evolution of Dance guy intended to get 141,000,000 views on YouTube? Do you think anyone tried to make Susan Boyle an Internet sensation? Of course not. Content becomes popular because people can relate to it, and because when content moves people, they are compelled to share it with others. Evolution of Dance worked because what that guy did was pretty original, and it spoke to several generations at once. Susan Boyle worked because she has a great story – the ultimate underdog with an incredible, and unexpected talent. Compelling content makes popular content. It’s that simple.

Get over yourself. I swear, if I hear one more person try to tell me that they “don’t have anything interesting to say”, I’m going to snap. Everyone has a story, including you. It can be a challenge to draw out exactly what that story is, and being able to tell stories naturally takes practice. So how do you figure it out? Well, I just went through an exercise a few weeks ago that was insanely useful.

I was put in a position where I had to trace back my working life to the beginning (I mean, like when I was 11 years old), and then figure out all of the highlights of my professional life to date, including work accomplishments, awards, and community involvement. It was a really daunting task, but as I started working on it, I realized that I was telling a story. I was digging up memories of past experiences and people that I hadn’t thought about in years. And once I was finished, and was reviewing it, I was able to see very clearly where my strengths lie. I knew my story, and I was able to extract from that some new things to share. You can do this too – it’s a great way to learn about yourself, and you’ll get more ideas than you know what to do with, I promise.

Stop telling yourself that you have nothing to contribute. Just sit your butt down, turn on that video camera, or start typing, or start painting, or go take those pictures. Do the things that speak to you (notice I said “things”). Don’t get hung up on the technology. Go to wordpress.com or tumblr.com and post your stuff. Tell your Facebook friends about it, if you’re on Facebook. Tell you Twitter pals, if you’re there. Or just email your Mom and your best friend with the link. The process of publishing content and then having others read it (even if it’s only a handful of people to start) is a little nerve wracking at first, but you get used to it. Eventually, it becomes extremely rewarding and even exciting. So, starting now, no more excuses. Butt in chair. Hit Record. Type. Click. Publish. Contribute.

It takes time. There’s no quick fix, no easy route to “getting” people to pay attention to your content. But that doesn’t mean you should give up if only 3 people (your Mom, your best friend and your spouse) are reading your blog or looking at your photos. I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I can tell you, my Mom and my husband (well, maybe not even him!) were the ONLY people who were reading my stuff for at least the first 6 months. But I kept doing it, because I was enjoying the process. Eventually, others started to take notice. Imagine my excitement when I got my first comment from a complete stranger!

Along my path of content creation, I was learning a TON about how all these different tools worked, and I was figuring out how to connect all of my efforts. I was reading other content voraciously, and that was giving me new ideas, and new things to experiment with. Does it take a long time? You’re damn right it does. If I had a nickel for every time Greg says to me, “Are you STILL on the computer?”, I’d be a rich woman.

There’s no “I want to do” in new media. There’s only “I am doing”. The people that you see succeeding in touching people with their content are not sitting around talking about publishing content. They are doing it. A LOT.

If you think you don’t have time, because of that full time job, a few kids, or all those re-runs of LOST you need to catch up on, then you need to rethink how your hours are prioritized. We all have 24 hours in a day, and kids sleep and eventually you go home from work. If you really, REALLY want this, you have to grab it by the teeth and just do it.

No more excuses, ok? Now go make some content, and once you’ve hit Publish leave your link in the comments.

Photo credit add1sun on Flickr

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As some of you may know, hubby and I did our annual road trip to Indiana at the end of March to attend the Horrorhound Weekend convention. That convention, for us, is about so much more than movie screenings, shopping at vendor booths, and spotting the odd celebrity. It’s in a big way, an opportunity for us to see some of the fantastic friends we’ve made over the past few years.

One group in particular, is a team of podcasting friends who produce a show called Night of the Living Podcast. Dubbed as “a show dedicated to all things horror”, NOTLP is a weekly romp through horror, news, pop culture, and general hilarity. The 5 hosts (Freddy, Amy, Andy, Erica, Kelley and Chiseck) all hail from Cincinnati and bring equal parts of movie knowledge, horror culture and random silliness to the show. It’s hysterical and entertaining and totally Not Safe For Work (which makes it even more lovable).

Greg and I have been fans for years, and we’re fortunate to have become good friends with this amazing group of people. People who let two complete strangers who they met on the Internet into their home 3 years ago. Complete strangers who wanted to make a documentary about them. That involved re-enactments of bludgeoning and other ghastly things. People who spend a good majority of time watching horror movies (so they should know better). But, Cincinnatians are known to be kind, welcoming and generous people. And they figured, “Heck, Greg and Sue are Canadian. There are no psychos in Canada, right?” Heh heh.

Which is why the review I’m about to post is completely and utterly biased.

A few weeks ago, NOTLP released their iPhone app. I personally love, love LOVE when podcasters release iPhone apps. I think it’s one of the most effective ways to distribute (albeit to a “closed” audience of iPhone users, but NOTLP knows their audience!). I’m more inclined to listen to their show on a whim now, when I’m waiting in line, in the car, etc. because it’s literally there, at the push of a button. No loading iTunes, no waiting for syncs. Plus, they’ve included some great features, like the Episode Extras, that includes Wallpapers, a Web Site Link, Tell a Friend, and my personal favourite, Play in Background. There are also lots of contact options, including email, Twitter, Facebook but also the “Call The Show” button, which puts you through to their Viewer Feedback line. I can also star my favourite episodes (which is useful for NOTLP since they’ve done 178 shows).

Now, the App is $1.99 at the iTunes store. Some people grumble a bit when podcasters start charging for things. After all, I can download and listen for free at iTunes, right? The thing is, in this case, you’re not paying $1.99 for the content – you’re paying for the method of distribution.  iPhone apps are designed for convenience. I’m one click from the content now, instead of 10 clicks and a sync. To me, that convenience means a lot. It’s one of the main reasons I own an iPhone. Not to mention, the NOTLP app itself is gorgeous, and the user experience for me is a big part. But if paying for apps is not your thing, yes, you can still get the whole shebang for free at the iTunes store. It’s your call.

More media makers need to consider their distribution methods. With the trend towards new interfaces (like tablet computing), it’s going to be more important than ever to find new ways to distribute content. NOTLP are a small group of podcasters from the Midwest who are, in my opinion, crushing it in the media making space. We should all learn from the great example they are setting.

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One of the things I love best about social media is that it allows people to be infinitely helpful. People’s genuine desire to be helpful helped us raise over $100,000 for 12for12k.org last year. Helpful people, many whom I have never met in person, have gotten me through complex technical challenges without giving a second thought. I’ve learned to be a better businessperson, a better marketer, and a better producer from those who so generously bring their wisdom, for free, on their own time, through their blogs, podcasts and other efforts. And, I have had tremendous opportunities to return the favour, too.

As I’ve expressed in my last couple of posts, there’s some disconcerting behaviour happening. I had to air my concerns, because I really think that some people are taking advantage of this culture of openness, helpfulness, and freeness, and we are running the risk of losing the community of trust and authenticity that we’ve worked so hard to build over the past few years.

The first step is admitting we have a problem. Look, it’s not in my nature to complain, and I feel as if my last couple of posts have been kind of ‘bitchy’. I’m a solutions oriented person. I focus on the positive. That means I’m thinking about ways we can continue to scale our efforts without drowning in a sea of demands, be helpful without giving everything away, and still run businesses that are fulfilling and profitable. But in order to do this, we need to identify that there is an issue. That what’s happening out here is really happening. That the media makers, like you and me, are growing tired and frustrated by the culture of entitlement we’re seeing and experiencing. That if we don’t watch out, we’re going to reach a breaking point soon, and the end result will be faith lost in the medium that we know so well and love so much.

So what’s a blogger to do? I think it’s time to go back to basics, honestly. I had a realization the other day. I was sitting here, fuming, frustrated by the constant poking and prodding coming at me through the pipe. I felt out of control. And then it dawned on me…it wasn’t the stream that was out of control…it was me. I had let the noise threshold rise and rise and forgot to cap it. It was akin to how my office desk sometimes gets (well, sort of how it is now, actually). Full of papers and junk and cameras and books and pencils and cats. Closing me in, leaning on me, even. But I realized that I HAVE CONTROL OF MY STREAM. At all times. I can set filters on my email. I can purge my Google Reader. I can unfollow people on Twitter, or manage lists more wisely. I can hit that little “x” and turn it all off for a while, too. And you know what? We all have those options. The world is not going to end if you have less information coming at you. Trust me.

Open door policies revisited. When I worked in the corporate world, all of my managers had “open-door” policies. Most of them never abided by it. They wanted you to “think” they were accessible, but really, they couldn’t be bothered to keep their door open, or to be helpful if you needed it. So after a while, you’d just stop trying. However, one of my former bosses, Andrew, had it right. Andrew was not your typical boss. He worked very hard, and he always seemed to know more than the other managers what was going on. It was his job to make the right decisions for the department. And the only way he could do this was by talking to us. Because we were in the trenches. We were doing the day to day tasks to move the projects forward. If he wasn’t checking in with us, then he couldn’t make decisions, he couldn’t identify and mitigate risks, and he couldn’t celebrate achievements. So, to facilitate this, his door was actually always open. He was always having conversations with the staff, and anyone could pop in and join the discussion. He was open, accessible, and most of all, helpful. But it was for a reason – there was a payoff on both sides. I could go about my business knowing I was being listened to, and he was getting the information he needed to do his job better.

Perhaps we can take a page from Andrew’s book on this one. Open doors in social media are a very good thing. Being helpful is what makes this space tick. But many of us are being blindly helpful, keeping our door open 24/7, inviting everyone in, and extending a hand to whoever knocks. It’s not scaleable, and ultimately, it’s not useful. Why? Because if you’re not getting some sort of payoff, then you’re going to get frustrated. If you’re helping people for the sake of helping, you’re going to be bombarded by people who are just taking advantage of your generosity, and then you’ll be forced, like so many of my managers from days gone by, to retreat to your corner and close the door and never come out. And that’s not helpful to anyone.

Honestly, I’m just thinking out loud here. Social media is still in its infancy. It’s barely walking yet. The rest of the world has still not really caught on. So, if we are having trouble scaling now, when only a small percentage of the people have come to the party, what’s going to happen when everyone shows up?

We’ve got to figure it out.

Your turn.

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