I see it at least 20 times a day. People asking for the “easy answer”, the “quick tip”. In this era of what my buddy Christopher Penn calls “snack sized” information, we’ve become conditioned to want to get all the juicy information in 140 characters or less. We think that one inspiring blog post is going to solve all our problems – if we just do that one easy step, we’ll be on the road to fame and fortune in no time. We want the easy answer. We want those who are more successful than us to tell us their secret to success, so we can go out and replicate it as quickly as possible.

So what is the easy answer? How can you get on the path to living your dreams RIGHT NOW?

You need to realize that there’s no easy answer. There’s no quick fix. There’s no top ten tips. There’s just doing the work. And then doing it some more. And more and more and more until you reach the next level. And once you get to that level, then you need to do more work. In fact, the higher the level you reach, the more work you need to do.

So what’s the easy answer for doing all this work? Thomas Edison said “Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration.”. I believe that having actual skills makes up a very small part of one’s success (and I’m a teacher, for Pete’s sake!). I have had students come into my class who have not got a clue about using computers, and within 6 weeks are editing magnificent videos. It’s not because they have magically developed mad computer skillz in a short amount of time. It’s not because they found some guru’s secret to learning computers super fast. It’s because they worked their asses off. It’s because they screwed up a lot and had to start over a bunch of times, and sweated it out at 3am the night before the assignment was due to make it the best it could be.

I do things all the time that I don’t know how to do. In 1998, my new boss had nobody else to teach a class on a certain day. So, I learned HTML and Dreamweaver in 3 weeks and then stood up in front of a class of 40 graphic designers for two days to teach it. I’d never taught a class before. Heck, I barely new how to use the stupid software. Did I screw up? You bet I did – to the point where some of the students actually walked out of the class. Did I sweat it out and stay up all night after the first class, and learn all the answers to the things I didn’t know, so I could show up the next day and get it sorted out? You bet I did. I sweated. There were tears. Textbooks got thrown across my office at 2am. But the next day I walked in calm and composed, and I nailed it. 10 out of 10, said my course evaluation. 10. Out of 10.

Success.

The reason we want the easy answers is not because we are lazy (well, most of us aren’t). The reason we want the easy answers is because we’re afraid. We are afraid that we’re going to put in all this hard work and effort and at the end of it all, we still won’t be successful. So why waste our time, when we can just ask that really successful person over there what their secret is, and hope for an easy answer? We’ll just keep buying all those “become a millionaire in 2 weeks!” self-help books and dream about what it will be like when success just lands in our lap. We can sit around and compare ourselves to others and say things like, “must be nice”.

Or we can get off our butts and get to work. We can mess things up and start over. We can decide that really, the easy answer is only one thing.

Doing the work.

[image credit: hale_popoki]

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“I’m not a techie.”

Have you ever said that? Do you ever think it? Do you compare yourself to folks who seem to have their smart phones surgically attached to their thumbs, typing 75 words per minute on a teeny keyboard, and wonder how you’ll ever measure up? Do you see Twitter superstars and Facebook mavens burning up the Interwebz with their tech savvy-ness, and think you’ll never be able to achieve the same?

You’re not alone.

There are lots of people out there who are hesitant to embrace technology. It sort of makes sense, especially if you’re 30 or older. After all, we’ve had to grow into all these new-fangled devices. Heck, I’ve been around since before voicemail and fax machines, and before pocket calculators were mainstream. Nowadays, we’ve got smart phones and tablet computers, word processing software, graphic design tools, digital video and content management systems. It’s natural to be a little overwhelmed. Add to all this the fact that things are changing so fast these days, it’s hard to keep up. The iPod has ONLY been around for a short 10 years. YouTube has only been here for 6 years. At this pace, who knows how many new tools and technologies are going to appear in the next few years? It’s moving at lightning pace, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.

So what’s a luddite to do?

Be a Little Bit Scared.
Fear is the great motivator, and what better way to get on that horse and start accomplishing things than if you’re at least a LITTLE afraid you’re going to be left behind? Here’s a story:

When I graduated from my 2nd time at college in 1997, I’d just come through a very intensive course that gave us an amazing foundation in the design and creation of digital media, but a course that only gave us ONE DAY of HTML and web design training. You see, the Web was only starting to have the inkling of becoming a big deal at that point, and the college curriculum hadn’t quite caught up yet.

So, here I was, with a piece of paper and a handful of skills that were already out of date. Every employer wanted Web skills, and I didn’t have them. I got my first job offer, and believe it or not, it was to teach web site design to a group of corporate communications types. The course was in 6 weeks. I could have turned it down, saying that I didn’t know enough about the Web, let alone have the confidence to teach it. But I don’t like to not know things.

Instead of walking away from the opportunity, I went out and bought up every book on HTML, JavaScript and web site design I could find and I spent the next 6 weeks solid learning everything I could. I built a bunch of web sites, broke them good, and rebuilt them again, over and over and over until I got it. Six weeks later I was standing in front of a class of 20, scared out of my wits, but successfully showing people the ins and outs of building a good web site (by 1997 standards, that is.)

Fear was my motivator. Instead of telling myself I wasn’t technical enough to learn to code a web site, I used my fear of the unknown to drive me to learn it. Was it hard? Yes, it was, especially because I am not and never will be much of a coder.

Don’t let your fear of the technology prevent you from leaping into it. Don’t be afraid to break stuff (in fact, break lots of stuff. It’s the best way to learn). The more you do, the more confident you’ll become, and then you can move ahead and let the next thing up the chain scare you.

Be Infinitely Curious.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but we’re not cats. What’s the difference? Cats, as clever as they can be, don’t often have the most common sense in the world (at least mine don’t). We humans, on the other hand, have the ability to have common sense. If you choose to use your common sense (because it IS a choice!), then you can be curious without being too risky.

What this means is, you probably shouldn’t start poking around the code of your company web site unattended, just because you’re curious and want to overcome your fear of technology. But, you could make a copy of your site on a test server, and then poke and prod and break things to your heart’s content over there. It doesn’t mean that you should use a big client project with an imminent deadline to improve your video editing chops, but it does mean that you can make a copy of some of the raw footage and spend the weekend after the project is signed off fussing with it in Final Cut.

Be curious about things. If you don’t know something, or don’t understand it, but want to, then find out. Google is your best friend. So is the library, if you’re old school. Read things. Try stuff. Play around. Figure it out. That’s really half the fun of learning something new. You’ll not only be wiser and more confident for it, you’ll have a sense of accomplishment that will only serve to motivate you more.

What To Stop.
Stop saying you can’t learn it. Stop saying you’re not techie enough. Stop saying you’re a luddite. You can embrace technology as well as the next person, if you’re willing to face your fear and reconnect with your sense of wonder about things.

Technology is a beautiful, wonderful, glorious thing. It’s something to be celebrated for how it has enriched our lives. As for what the future holds, nobody knows. But that’s nothing to be afraid of, right?

[photo by zetson]

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There’s a church around the corner from my house. It’s one of those churches that often displays little messages on the outside notice board. They change it up every week or so, just in time for the Sunday service, it seems. There’s a traffic light at the corner, so I always have a moment before the light turns green to fully read what the board says. I see it over and over again throughout the week. Sometimes I don’t pay much attention to it, but other times the message sort of sticks with me.

Today’s message was “Kind words make kind echoes.”

Out here in cyberspace we often talk about echo, but it’s not always in the context of kindness. The echo chamber out here in the social media world has a very negative connotation. Reference to the echo chamber often implies that all us social media blogging types spend our days and nights (because, you know, we don’t actually have REAL jobs), mulling over the same 3 or 4 topics ad nauseum then hauling our butts off to conferences so we can truly sit around and yammer on about the same inane sentiments over and over.

I’m not here to deny that the echo chamber exists. It’s certainly alive and well. I’ve blogged about the social media “bubble” before. I am as guilty as anyone of flapping around in the fishbowl. But that message I saw on the church sign today, and some recent experiences I’ve had have got me thinking hat there’s another side to this whole echo thing. That in fact, the echo chamber is actually being used for good, too.

I’ve had a couple of experiences in the past several days where I’ve been on the receiving end of some very kind words, both publicly and privately. Sure, we’ve all had nice things said to us or about us at one time or another. But being nice and being kind, to me, are two different things. Nice is surface. It’s consideration of another, in the moment. It’s a quick gesture, like holding a door open. Kindness has other more lasting qualities.

Kindness is easy. You know how sometimes, you HAVE to be nice? Like how you HAVE to be nice to your best friend’s new boyfriend, even though you think he’s a creep? Or how you HAVE to be nice to the customer in your checkout line, even though she won’t stop complaining about how slow the service is? Being nice is hard sometimes, but kindness is always easy. It comes from the heart. You are kind to someone because you feel a need to show that person you’re listening, that you care, and that they have value. You’re kind because you WANT to be, not because you HAVE to be.

Kindness is genuine. How easy is it for you to tell if someone’s being fake? When the words they are saying or the things they are doing, nice as they might seem, are just to get on your good side so they can get something from you? My bet is you can probably see that type of person coming a mile away. I know I can. When someone’s playing the suck up game, there’s always something sitting there in the background that isn’t quite right. That person will leave their compliments dangling – and you’re left waiting for the other shoe to drop. Authentic kindness is unquestionably sincere. When you are genuinely kind, you seek nothing in return. Not even a thank you. You are taking the pleasure in raising someone else up, for no other reason than that you want to. The payoff is not in reciprocation. It’s in the act of kindness itself.

Kindness echoes. The final indicator of kindness is what I’ve just realized today – that kindness really does have an echo. If someone is publicly kind, it’s easy to see the echo. One positive gesture echoes good feelings not only towards the recipient of the kindness, but towards the giver as well. One act of kindness can quickly run rampant. Remember the Free Hugs guy? Or just take a look at the list of Random Acts of Kindness references in Wikipedia. Even a private kind act will bring forth positive feelings that resonate. Saying or doing one kind thing for someone can have a lasting impact…whether it’s just brightening another’s day by telling them you appreciate them, or by helping them out and asking nothing in return. You can tell true kindness by the mark it leaves, and by the lasting effect of the echo it makes.

So…which echo chamber are you going to be part of?

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I had a bad day yesterday. Oh, nothing horrible happened to cause my bad day. I was just not in a good way. I was over-tired, and reeling from a super-busy and stressful week. Physically, I was in pain, because my shoulder is acting up again. And yesterday, it all kind of compounded, leaving me just a little “off”.

By 5pm, I was exhausted and grumpy. I shut off the computer, put on my pyjamas and spent the rest of the evening motionless on the sofa. I went to bed at 9 and fell asleep at 9:30.

I’m thankful for my bad days. Here’s why:

Crash and Burn
I have a weak sense of when I’m overdoing it. I always have. I go go go go go until I crash. My “bad days” are my crash. It’s my body, mind and spirit’s way of telling me to take a break. When I was in my early twenties, I didn’t recognize my “crash”. So I just barrelled through it, kept working and playing and stressing. Until I got sick. Had mono that kept me in bed and off work for weeks. Then I got sick again. Had to have an operation. Only at that point, did I realize that not listening to my “crash” had become the “crash and burn”, which takes much longer to recover from. I’ve learned to recognize my crash point. I respect it by taking a break, resting my body and mind and focusing on myself.

Moving Forward
Everytime I have one of these bad days, my mind overtakes me. My thoughts become irrational and I get highly emotional. I am extra sensitive to everything. My buttons push more easily. But once I’ve had the opportunity to rest, and I’m on the other side of it, I almost always learn something new about myself. I think about the combination of things that have put me in that state of mind in the first place. And I gain a new sense of self-awareness that helps me to avoid letting those same things overtake me in the future.

Life is a balancing act. We all need to make sure that we are able to create balance in our lives. But balance is just that. The pendulum swings back and forth – to the extreme of contentment and wellness, and to the extreme of stress and confusion. In each of those spaces resides an opportunity to learn and to move forward.

So don’t let the bad days get you down. Accept them for what they are, respect what your body and mind is telling you, and wake up the next day with a new perspective.

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I woke up this morning with an anxious knot in the pit of my stomach. My thought pattern went much like this:

I’m traveling to Cincinnati at the end of the week, so my mind is racing with everything that needs to happen before we leave Thursday night. There is a ton of stuff to do to get ready for the trip. (passports, health insurance info, video equipment, laptop, clean socks, toothbrush etc. etc. etc). Drop the dog off at the kennel. Drop the other pets off at their Grandparents’ house. Get pet food. Get fish feeder block. Pack. Figure out how to fit all our crap in the Jeep.

And that’s just the trip preparation. Then there’s work! I have to write a proposal, co-write at least one episode of our show, finish some web content, follow up on umpteen proposals and advertising contracts, develop navigation for a new web site, and make sure our design team has enough to keep them busy while we’re away.

All of this occured to me within about 30 seconds of waking up this morning. No wonder I am anxious.

I sat at the computer, heart palpitating at the thought all I had to do, and what email demands were awaiting to distract me from those tasks. My eyes hit Chris Brogan’s post about Drowning almost immediately. Sometimes hearing about someone else who is feeling similarly can allow a different perspective to flood in. It worked, snapping me out of my ego-minded selfish way of thinking. “Hey, I’m not the only person in the world with a long to do list,” I thought to myself. “How am I going to handle it?” I sat back, took a deep breath, and reminded myself of how I deal with extreme busy-ness.

I’m really in to top ten lists lately, so here’s my top ten list of things anyone can do to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

1. Make a list on paper. Prioritize the list, and schedule when you will accomplish certain tasks.
2. Once you’ve scheduled a task, don’t think about it again until it’s time to do it.
3. Re-write the list when necessary. Check things off and don’t worry about them once they are done.
4. Don’t be afraid to do like Chris did, and ask not to be disturbed. 99% of people will respect that. If they don’t, ignore them.
5. Turn off the distractions. No email, no CrackBerry, no phone calls until you’ve accomplished a certain task.
6. Minimize distractions, but don’t wait till 5pm to check your day’s worth of email. That will only overwhelm you more. Make time right after lunch to spend 1/2 an hour dealing with email. File anything you can’t address within 1 or 2 minutes and deal with it when the rush is over. If you have to, send a quick reply telling the person when you will be able to get back to them.
7. Take a break. The world will wait while you spend 45 minutes to take a walk, do some yoga or have lunch with your spouse. Don’t think about your lists while you are on your break.
8. Sleep. Nobody is asking you to stay up all night. If you need to rest, even for a couple of hours, do it. You will be much more productive if you aren’t exhausted.
9. Eat. If you don’t eat, your brain won’t work. Your blood sugar will crash leaving you emotional and frustrated. Make sure you get protein and veggies. And a Big Mac doesn’t count as protein and veggies.
10. This too shall pass. You WILL get through your list. The crazy busy time will end. You WILL get to take a break. And you’re not alone. We all feel overwhelmed sometimes.

Anything you’d add to the list? How do you avoid getting overwhelmed?

I’m off to get cracking on my list now. Happy Monday!

Photo credit: bourgeoisbee on Flickr.

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